Terrible Terrific Tuesdays?

Tuesdays are a day I discover a great deal about myself and where I am weak, here is where I interject the big however, though! I'm also discovering Tuesdays are becoming a day when I see how truly blessed I am to be alive and that deep within there is great strength. Running makes me highly aware of every breath I take. It makes me aware of what a blessing it is to have a body, how strong it is, how blessed I am to be able to make it move, what a miraculous piece of equipment it is, and how lucky I am to enjoy a wealth of health. Running also fills me with a greater determination to be wise in how I care for it. We take our bodies for granted, and the old adage, "Use it or lose it." is no joke!
Tuesdays are also becoming my day to spend with God. It's a day when I'm under His Fatherly instruction. He teaches me interesting things when I'm out on the road, His spirit is with me in a unique way. As my muscles open up to the increased flow of blood, my mind opens to new ideas, new insights into the person He wants me to be, and new ways of assessing life. It's a day when I discover the greatest blessings in life are right smack dab in front of me. They are the blessings I've often times stepped over and disregarded as I frantically ran through life looking for them. I have learned when I'm on the road blessings are every where, all around me, they've been there all along, right under my feet!
Creativity strikes at the strangest moments in life. Like right as I was headed out the door on Tuesday and had no pocket to shove my Gu into. I hate packin' stuff, but if it's Tuesday then I'm not leaving home without this little package! and I've learned on Terrible Terrific Tuesdays Gu is life sustaining.
I thought of shoving it into my bra, but how comfortable would that be, metal corners stabbing the hell out of my lowly flat chest? That's when the ingenious idea struck my head like a thunder bolt and presto, I saw the perfect way to haul my precious packet of energy! I'm so glad I have two feet, twice the energy :D How awesome is that!
I hit the road a little late this last Tuesday morning and learned a very important lesson as soon as I reached the river bottoms. 400 kids driving to school create an enormous amount of carbon monoxide poisoning. I thought I was going to die breathing the pungent air for a quarter mile past Fremont. It was a steady line of cars and six yellow school busses that added to the gassy conditions. Cough, cough, hack, sputter, and spit! The only good thing was they were all headed in the opposite direction I was heading in and by the time I turned around all those rowdy teenagers were safely inside the school and the steady procession of cars had come to a screeching halt.
I had a new attitude Tuesday. I was determined. It felt good. There is something to be said about familiarity. The seven miles wasn't new and somehow knowing the road helped me process everything inside my head a lot better. I also knew the benefits of my little friend I was packin on my shoe. Love the Gu on my Shoe!
I got a few stares from the administration as I bolted through the halls at Fremont, now my official water stop 1/2 way through my regimen. After I left the building the run didn't seem so long anymore, but immediately after I left the school I realized I hadn't drank enough water, so into the seminary building I ran. I finished off my thirsty demands by sucking down a generous amount of life sustaining H2O and out the door I went. I was ready for the road again.
Fremont had just cut the grass and I have noticed running invigorates my senses, every single one of them. This is one of the things I love, but ironically the smell of the fresh cut grass was so strong I couldn't wait to reach the next block.
When I finally got to my last mile, I noted the time on my stop watch and kicked what was left of me into gear! Trust me it wasn't much!!! By this time in the game I'm trying not to trip and fall down.
I love all the people I pass out exercising in the morning. Bikers in they're multi colored sleek spandex outfits, joggers dressed in shorts and common t-shirts, men with big dogs, and women with strollers. I passed Dave McKellar just after the park, gave him a wave and thought of all the good ideas his family has given me. The McKellers are runners. I pushed on my way noting that fit people are friendly people.
Determination grabbed hold of me as I turned onto my road and forced myself to keep the pace the rest of the way home.  I looked at my stopwatch as I took the last step across my own personal finish line, my driveway entrance. One minute and 22 seconds shaved of the long seven mile trek! YES! Determination makes a difference.
I read a quote, "Your mind shuts down your muscles well before the muscles actually fail." I had to read that several times before it all sank in and truth tapped me on the shoulder. "Mind over matter!" That quote has helped me to push myself harder. I now know when I think I have to quit because I feel like I'm going to die, I can actually go a lot further without actually dying!  (LOL)
There is a feeling that comes over me every time I round the last corner and see my driveway off in the distance.  This feeling grabs hold of me even tighter as I take the last step, push the button on my watch noting I finished another run. Tuesday I walked up my driveway and paced back and forth trying to catch my breath ---I was exhausted and spent. Despite the pain though there was a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of satisfaction, a feeling of having done what my body didn't want to do. My butt muscles ached, my right foot was throbbing a little, my legs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds a piece, but my heart, oh the emotion in my heart that rushed like the wind to my head. That is worth every ounce of pain I endure. That feeling alone cannot be measured.
I'm eight weeks into my official training and 10 months into the goal. I've been trying to run for ten long months, no easy feat for me. I have yet to make it more than one mile in a sustained run. I figured today that maybe just a little over 1/2 of my seven miles were spent in running. The rest was an intermix of speed walking. Good thing I walk fast.
Last week I ran with a friend, I learned one very important thing. My running has greatly improved and so has my speed walking. I had to slow down for my friend. She ran, I walked. If I ran, it was too fast for her. This put a big smile on my face. Not because of the fact I had to slow down for my friend because there are lots of times she's had to slow down for me. Nope! It had nothing to do with that. It was because for the first time I really honestly realized I am indeed getting stronger and that has been a hard thing to feel, see, and know!
I would like to know though why after my long runs depression strikes me so hard in the late afternoon. I felt good about my run, had no symptoms of being down at all until the late afternoon/early evening hit. I was so wiped out, I started balling and I could not stop. I talked to Man With A Drill when he got home, and I think it seriously has to do with the chemical levels in my body after so much exertion.  Has anyone else experienced this? I talked to some serious runners and they think I'm not refueling immediately after my run well enough. I also wondered if it had anything to do with the caffeine in the Gu. I don't normally have any caffeine. I did note, late that night after I ate two huge bowls of hamburger soup I felt so much better.
Now I have another added problem that's taking place. Two nights ago I woke up a 3:00 o'clock in the morning and I was drenched from head to foot. When I woke up I thought Man With A Drill had dropped me in the river. I've never seen anything like it. My night clothes, everything, my hair, all of it wringing wet. Night Sweats? I just want to run. I just want to be happy and run. Is this asking too much?
I'm a little fearful but, next Tuesday ---8 miles. I'm going to eat like a pig the second I get home, take sleeping pills when I go to bed and turn the air conditioning down to 55. Man With A Drill can sleep in his parka! Sheesh, there's a lot one has to do to run a 1/2 marathon. What's going to happen in a year or two when I sign up for the full shabang? I better think on that for a long, long time!