My Angel Mother

My mom died in her home Wednesday at 2:15 PM. She was 90 years old. I am so thankful I was able to care for her and be with her when she passed.

Five and a half years ago she sat in a hospital and was told by a physician she would never be able to live in her home on her own again, and that she should prepare to die. She was told her life expectancy was maybe, at the most, six months to a year.

My mom's response to that doctor will forever ring in my ears. She looked up at him and said, "I'll go home and die why I damn well please!"

I am happy to report today, she indeed proved the man wrong on BOTH accounts!

I cannot write today about my mother, about how much I love her, how indebted I am to her, how she carved my very being. I cannot write now about how much I'll miss every ounce of her and my home, about the chasmic void she has left me with, my eyes are too full. I will say in short however, she always told me I was her tribute, and I know she will forever be mine!

My mom is a great lady and the strongest woman I will ever know. To be her daughter is a divine privilege and I will eternally echo Abe Lincoln,

"EVERYTHING I AM I OWE TO MY ANGEL MOTHER!"

That day in the hospital, my mom was diagnosed with a severe hole in her heart. Now today, without a shadow of a doubt, forever more, there appears a giant gaping one in mine as well!

I love you mom!!!

I'm Readin' A Book

Some people love to read.

Des is one of them!

In fact, she's obsessed with it. If you ask her what she wants to do for fun, she'll say, "Can we go to the library?" She's building a library in her room as we speak. This girl loves to read anything and everything.

Recently she came to me with her theme song.



This totally fits you Des! You're hillarious!!!

Goal Accomplished!

The photo below was taken at Lake Powell. It was taken August 14th, just after a storm rumbled through. It's a little dark and I need to lighten it up but it's the only photo I have that sort of gives direction to an item on my bucket list that I just recently crossed off.

I love to swim. And I've been pondering on doing a Sprint Triathlon. The one thing however, that's been holding me back, is the swimming section of the race.

In a Novice triathalon you swim 300 meters, in a Super Sprint you swim 400 meters or a quarter mile. Move to a Sprint and the quarter mile turns into nearly a half mile. Jump to an Olympic and you will now be swimming a full mile. If your crazy, the last two options for the elete athletes are, the Half which = 1.2 miles and last but not least a Full Triathlon, which = 2.5 miles. I will never be doing those!

The Bear Lake Brawl which is the race I've been considering would require me to swim a half mile, bike 12.4 miles, and run 3.1 miles. I'm not worried about the biking and the running. It's the swimming that's always kept me questioning. 

Not anymore!

I've been swimming lap distance now for a year. Recently my friend swam two miles in Jackson. I have long wanted to try some long distance open water swimming. I decided at the spur of the moment to go for it while I was in Powell. You don't get better water than in Lake Powell. 

Thankfully that two mile swimmer (my friend) was on the trip with us. I told him I wanted to try it and he said he would happily go with me. He even increased my confidence by loading his canoe with our protective gear, which he towed while he swam right next to me, just in case I needed it. That is a true friend! 

That was it, one canoe floating next to me with my life jacket on board was all I needed for confidence. We got ready and jumped in. 

A mile and a half later, I had swam farther than I ever dreamed I could. I swam with no life jacket, no fins, not even my nose plugs, nope, just me and my thunder thighs dressed in my TYR suit, my swim cap covering my greying head and my trusty goggles planted firmly on my face. 

It took us somewhere around an hour and a half maybe more. Like an idiot, I didn't put my swim watch on before I left, but given the time we got back on the boat, we figured that's was a pretty close guess. 

We swam from our boat out to the channel which is how we figured the distance. We canoed back. 

I can't tell you how good it felt to stand up on a rock clear out in the middle of the main channel of Lake Powell and look back down the canyon at how far I had swam. Our house boat was no where in sight and it took us a while to canoe the long distance home. It felt good to look back over my accomplishment.

While swimming, I used lots of different strokes. I started with the front crawl and when I got tired I flipped to the side stroke, when my muscels started to weaken from that, I rolled over to my back and watched the clouds drift by while I swam on my back, one arm, then the other, reaching high over my head with each consecutive pull. After I grew tired with that, I flipped over to the breast stroke, the one I like to call the frog. I continued changing strokes everytime I felt the urge for relief.

When we finished every muscle in my body was plum worn out, and my right arm felt a little cramped. My spirit however, felt better than it's ever felt before. It feels good to challange yourself and cross over a pre-determined finish line!

After swimming that distance I now have the urge to swim even more. There is one thing missing however ---M U S I C!

Do you like to swim? Do you like to get wet? I love physical activity!!! And I love doing it with music in my ears! Music is motivational for me, and when I'm swimming I miss my tunes horribly. Well, not anymore! Today I made a purchase. I can't wait till they come!

Happy Swimming! By the way, is there anyone who wants to do the Bear Lake Brawl with me?

Take Me Back

Today I had a funny thought. I wondered if my life is half over.  It struck me and I spent sometime pondering it.

Am I half way? Am I more than half way? 

I am 55. Do I have 50 years left? Do I have 40 years left? What does the future hold for me? Will my health last, will it hold out and stay with me? Is some aged disease waiting for me around the corner? How much future do I have left?

Yesterday I got a phone call. A good friend of mine who just happens to be exactly my age, died suddenly. He was healthy one day and gone the next. A blood clot went to his lungs and within 24 hours he was gone. Tomorrow I'm attending his funeral.

Maybe that's what sparked my sudden interest in just how much longer I'm going to live. I happen to love living and I want to do a lot more of it.

Life is short and quick in passing and one thing I'm constantly reminded of is how precious the "Present" is and how important it is to get up each and every morning and really, "L I V E!"

Today I cleaned off my desktop. I had a million pictures on it, pictures I had scanned for the little graduation tributes I made to my kids. I still have one kid left to post. And trust me, it's coming, but besides sorting pictures, I think I've really been sorting emotions.

When I found this picture, I summed it in photoshop and gave it some tweaks. When I had it all blown up big as life on my 27 inch computer screen, I nearly started balling. Ok, who am I kidding, I did start balling. And my heart started quivering, turning to mush and imediately I wanted to turn around and be there, I wanted so bad to just look up and find myself standing there, in the middle of my mom's walk, bare foot and pregnant, playin with my little kids.

Maybe I'm strange, but I fully believe those years when my children were small, all those growing years when they were sleeping under my roof, when they were fully under my feat and driving me nuts, yes, for sure, no doubt, those were the best years ever!

Note to self: Enjoy today! Enjoy the little things ---while you can!

Happy Belated Everything Number Two

This photo was taken at Lake Powell last year. The photo is a last minute ditch effort on my part. Needed a picture for the blog, because in my happy belated everything, I almost forgot to insert a very important happy anniversary! In hunting for pictures, I can see I need to take more of the married people, husband and wife without the kids. None the less, I can't forget to wish this little couple a Happy Belated Anniversary!

I just want to say a couple of things about this husband and wife duo. They make an awesome team! And as I watch them age, I am more and more grateful for their union.

One complement I'd like to personally pay them today is centered around their parenting. Em and Craig have the most well behaved kids you'll ever meet. I'm not saying that just because their my grandkids. You ask anyone in my family and they will tell you, Em and Craig's kids are so pleasant to spend time with. No they are not perfect children, there are none of those, but for children, they are so well behaved it almost seems so. They are considerate, easy to be in the presence of, easy to reason with, and they take direction well. They are easy kids to discipline, they know their boundaries, and they respect them. They are respectful children, something I see less and less of in this day and age. The greatest thing every member of my family will tell you is, they are not whiners. They don't pitch fits either, they don't pout a whole lot. They are overall pretty managable kids. I don't know what Craig and Em do in their parenting, but they do it well. And the older their children grow, the more impressed I am.

I think, to a great extent, their parenting is a reflection of their marital relationship. Craig and Em have a solid spiritual union of love and respect for each other and the fact that God is in the center of that relationship, affects every fiber of their life, including their children. It spills over into ever aspect of their home, the relationship they have with their children, the relationship their children have with them and with each other, and it also spills over into their personal relationship as well. In this home there is a plethora of respect that abounds in everything, both for people and for things. I think it's the blessings of a Christ centered home.

So Happy Anniversary you two. Dad and I are so proud of how you are living your lives, all the great decisions you constantly make. It's a great thing to be able to say that not only about this couple, but about each one of our children. I can write the same thing about each one. I got such good kids! Em is the eldest in our family and I want to complement her and Craig for setting a great example in the couple department. So proud of all you are doing in your relationship with each other and in your home.

We love you both! Hope you had a great day! So happy you tied the knot all those years ago. How many? I can't keep track!

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Next, and not so long ago, a cute little boy had a birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BINO!

Here is one awesome kid! And he had an awesome birthday. His birthay bash was a huge sucess. We all went swimming. This little boy is a regular fish! He even showed me how he can jump off the diving board and swim all by his little old lonesome self, right over to the side of the pool. You should have seen him. I was impressed!

I took Corbin shopping for his birthday the other day. I love this day! When your grandson is six years old, he can engage in quite the complex conversation. And I have to say those conversations are never boring. And the topics spring up and catch you by surprise like a tulip in December.

Warning! I'm not sure if there are any smokers who read my blog, but if so, this next paragraph or two is not meant to offend you. However, there are some very definite opinions of one six year old you might want to consider. And I have to say as an older adult, I fully agree with him!

The story started out as we pulled into the parking lot at Walmart. As I was parking the car, Corbin began telling me all about the little house next to the big store.

"Grandma," he said.

"Yes," I answered with my full attention.

"That's the house where people smoke."

I could see is obvious concern. Immediately he had my attention and I went into a dissertation on how observant he was.

He continued.

"Grandma,"

"Yes Corbs."

"Smoking is really, really bad for you!" He said it with a lot of stern emphasis. He said "Really" twice so there'd be no misunderstanding.

"I know it is," I said to him, matter of factly.

Then I asked, "How do you know it's bad for you Corbin?"

"I just know it," he retorted, as if that knowledge has always been with him.

By this time, we had climbed out of the car and he was holding my hand as we strolled across the parking lot. We were both walking silently, obviously deep in thought, pondering over the ill effects of smoking.

Just before we stepped into the store Corbin stopped me and looked up at me.

"Grandma," he said.

"Yes," I peered in at him, as if I were composed of all ears.

"I'm never ever gonna' smoke!"

chosing to be healthy right now while he is young and how impressed I was that he knew a great deal on taking good care of his body. I finished up with, "You're really smart, Corbs."

He humbly said, "Thanks."

The next step once we got inside Walmart was to make a birthday selection. Corbin is a man who knows what he likes.

We strolled down each isle at least twice. We spent extra time in the Lego's since that is Corbin's absolute favorite.

We also had an interesting conversation on budgeting. I ask him if he knew what a budget was and he quickly told me no. I explained that a budget had to do with money. I was honest and upfront and told him I detested all budgets. I even disclosed how pathetically horrible I am at keeping them. He totally sympathized with me. I went on to explain that he had twenty dollars to spend and that was his budget and today we were sticking to it.

The kid is a genius because he immediately told me he wasn't sure if that was enough! Then he said, "My mom says Lego's are really expensive, grandma. I want to buy some Lego's. Then he asked me, "Will twenty dollars buy Lego's?"

"Probably not," I answered.

It was a logical question. I showed him the shelves with the prices under each item. I told him he had to pick things that started with a two and that anything higher was off limits. He caught on real fast.

You know kids are a lot smarter than they appear! Age is no factor in the smarts department or the finagling department either. I think sometimes, the younger a kid is, the more ingenious they are! And what's more, they like to fool you into thinking they aren't ingenious, when they totally are!

I was happy, he stuck to his budget without complaints and It wasn't long when he made his selection.

After Walmart, we hit his favorite place to eat, McDonalds. It's all about the kid meal, when you are six. And I have to interject here, Corbin really is health minded, because he chose apple slices over french fries. What a smart kid. I got the fries.

We had so much fun eating, talking, and laughing at the silliest things ever. The whole event was nothing short of superb!

Well Corbs, Grandma had the funnest day ever. You are the best kid; Fun to be with, bright as they come, good through and through, and a wonderful boy! In short, you are growing into the one fantastic human being. I'm so glad you are mine! I love you to infinity and beyond! Everyone wishes you the best Happy Birthday a little boy can have. Hope it was that and more. We love you! Happy Birthday Bud!

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One little girl gets really excited when it's her brother's birthday.

She knows, after his birthday it's hers!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOODLE BUG!
You are the cutest little cupcake in the pan!

Every time I point my camera in this little girl's direction I have to be quick. I've decided I'm going to take a photography class on shooting sports. I can see with Eden Rose, I'm going to need to shoot in shutter priority, all the time. That way I can catch all of her animations in full speed.

With Eden Rose, you had better be prepared for action. I'm pretty proud of myself in regards to capturing the above photograph. As you can see I caught her just before she ran out of the frame.

This little girl is always on the go. I'd like to bottle some of her energy and drink it. 

And as you can see, even Corbin is no match for her supreme vitality. 

She is so funny. It cracked me up how she tackled her brother and then posed sweetly for the picture. One thing I know for certain about this little girl, is that she's going to have no problem tackling life!

Eden is so funny. She always has me giggling. These pictures were taken after her dance recital.

This is her recital. Eden is the first little girl on the left. As you will see, it took me a minute to find her.

First Dance Recital from Faye Crowther on Vimeo.

Isn't she cute!

Kaedell would tell me the funniest stories about Eden at her dance classes. She loved to dress up in her dancing clothes, but I'm not sure about the rest of it.

And this little girl knows her mind. She has so much confidence for a 4 year old.

For Eden's birthday, she got to go to build a bear. She was elated. She loves her 'Wish Bear' she made.

I took this picture at the new house. These kids are pretty excited about their new surroundings and I'm so excited for them.

When I look at Eden I am taken back in time. Such a good time. Her pure white hair and her complete excitement with living reminds me of her mother. Eden is most completely Kaedell's clone.

So full of life. Happy and exuberant over it all. And don't underestimate her determination, because there is never a lack of it. Eden can do anything she puts her mind to. I get such a kick out of her. 

I can't wait till our birthday date together. I'm calling her today. I can't begin to imagine what our conversations will center around. I know one thing for sure though, the day won't lack for charm, enchantment, and magnetism. Life will show up in all it's color and we'll have the best time ever!

Grandma loves you, Eddie Begeety! You little girl, are a SWEETY! And life just wouldn't be any fun without you. Hope you had a spectacular day, because you are most definitely a spectacular 4 year old and life is so much better with you in it! Happy Birthday, Lovey!

Happy Belated Everything

Can you tell I'm a little behind . . .pause, breath . . .

On everything?

Sometimes it feels as if life just hammers on ya, it feels like one blow after another.

And stress in my life lately feels like a constant flowing stream.

It isn't necesarily big like a river, just steady, with no break in it.

If I were to take any single individual problem,

 By itself, it's not really that big, not really that difficult. 

The problem is, there are just too many stacking up one on top of another.

And not enough "Me" to solve them all.

Add the changing winds of age inside my bodily frame and I have felt a little overwhelmed.

My emotions run like high tide with it all.

And lately I've felt like life is living me, instead me living life. 

Today I'm working on a taking it back, the control. 

I'm goig to be in charge. I'm sitting down at the helm and I'm taking back the wheel.

So, with that . . .

Let's Start With Father's Day and a birthday.

Happy Father's Day Man With A Drill, And Happy Birthday too!

Yesterday a young lady that worked for Man With A Drill as his assistant in the Logan office gave him a card as she said her good-byes to the staff. She was leaving Logan and moving back to Salt Lake where her home is, and she had some special things she wanted to say to Man With A Drill.

The card was lengthy in it's descriptions of what a great boss he was and just how much he meant to her. The card spoke of kindness, equality, friendship, respect, honor, happiness, fun, goodness, gratitude, gentleness, how he always reached out to help her, and she spoke of an honest quality of character she had never seen or worked with before. She went on to write to him on how he had become a father figure in her life, and she spoke in length of his goodness to her, and how he always made her feel ---valued and uplifted.  Last but not least was her final comments of how Man With A Drill will forever go down in the history books as the finest man she had ever worked for and how happy she was that he had influenced her in a great way.

As I read the card, I saw the man I married. He is good, (so good) he is caring, he is a gentle soul, and it's true, it doesn't take much to make him happy. Man with a drill doesn't complain about much, and he's good to people. He is the kind of guy that never puts himself above anyone. He's easy going, doesn't care about putting on a show with people. (How else could he go everywhere proudly in his blue jump suit?) Anyway, when I was finished reading the card, I was so happy he's mine. Sometimes he's a little spacy, maybe even too easy going at times, but it's funny, beacause those are the very things I fell in love with right off the bat. So to the man I love, I say, "Happy belated Father's Day and Happy belated Birthday dear! I'm thankful to have such a good companion and a wonderful father to my kids. I love you!!!

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Now For Kaedell!

The Bug

The Bug of all Bugs!

The One I  LOVE!

  

She was due August 18th.

Aug 1st she made her debut.

32 years later now, she's married, 

Her tummy is buldging with baby number three,

She just moved into her very own home,
and she's thrilled!
No one deserves it more.
I'm only sad about one thing,
It's not right across the street.
But I'm not complaining,
She's still a PC girl.

Happy Birthday to my BUG!

She's beautiful in this stage of her life.

She's beautiful inside and out in every stage of her life.

She's my best friend and often times my greatest example!

And, the older I get

 The more I see how blessed I am to have her as my daughter.

 Those blessings stand so boldly in front of me that I can't honestly comprehend them!

Kaedell is a doer,

she is disciplined,

She's creative,

She's a gazillion talents rolled into one 

As her mother, I'm so proud of her in all she does. 

And she is a blessing that just grows more and more gratitude inside me everyday.

As I watch her with her children, 

As I watch her as a mother,

As I see her in every facite of her life 

I am filled with emotion.

Proud emotion.

I'm so lucky!

 Lucky to have the priviledge of claiming her as my very own!

Happy Belated Birthday Bug!

Thanks for being the wonderful daughter you are!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

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Next Comes Caroline!

Caroline is the greatest daughter in law a mother could ever ask for.

She's so great in fact, I hate adding the so called in law, at the end.

I tell her all the time,

"Caroline, I love you like I gave birth to you!"

When you gain a daughter in law, besides all the things you hope for your son,

as a mother, you hope for a few personal things for yourself as well,

things like . . .

Acceptance,

Genuine love,

Respect,

A willingness to come often and be one with your family.

You hope for a girl who will want to be with you, spend lots of time with you,

come and do things often with you.

You pray for someone who will jump right into your family and love it.

Someone who will love you like your own kids love you.

I hit the jackpot with this little girl!

Just before they tore down the Ogden Temple I took my family to the grounds for a picture.

As we were waiting for whole crew to arrive I snapped the above shot.

It is absolutely my most favorite picture I've ever taken of Caroline.

I don't know what it is about it, but I love it.

The red totally captures her vivacious personality,

And her smile encapsulates her goodness and the very essence of her spirit in it's fullest. 

She is full of light in this picture and the inside of her is magnified beautifully.

Besides being beautiful on the outside, her inner bearty radiates like a fire in a hearth.

And with her, the greatest compliment I could pay her,
I always feel comfortably safe and warm at home!

I love you Caroline! Thanks for always spending your birthday with us in Lake Powell!

Every year our trip falls on her birthday. I know it is a sacrifice for her to always spend it with us.

Most of all, thank you for always loving me just the way I am.

There has never been one day where I have not felt totally and 100 percent loved by you!
That means everything to me. When I'm with her, I know I mean a lot to her.
How comforting it is to be with someone who never judges you and always is generous
with her opinions about you!

Thank you for respecting me, accepting me and valuing me with no pretense.

And thank you for making my life easy and sweet when ever you are around.
Oh, and just a side note. Thanks for being an awesome wife to my son! 

Your a keeper! Happy Birthday
I love you!

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Next on the list of highlights.

THE GOOSEMAN
Happy Birthday to the greatest kid ever!

One thing I've been extrememly grateful for the last couple of weeks
is this kid featured right here in this post!
Kelson is . . . plain and simple . . . one of the greatest human beings you'll ever meet.
He is one of the finest bodies God ever put a soul into!

When I drove home from Utah State late the other night
and I was crying so hard I couldn't see the road, (I'll be getting to that story)
The first thing I saw when I walked in the door was Kelson's shinning face.
And Thank goodness!
For on a night when I felt so broken hearted on the inside, cussing life for going by so fast,
nothing felt better than to walk in the door and see him standing there.
Just hearing him, his words of wisdom, his laughter, his ribbing me about my tears, his demeanor,
his optomism and effervescence, the catchlights glimmering in his eyes when he gave me his
"You'll be ok" smile,
Well, all of it immediately started to put my fallen state right back together again.
There is something about the noise kids make when they are home.
Those cacophonies are the greatest vibrations life has to offer.
His friendly clanking and clammering as he moves about the house is like music to my ears.
Just hearing his footsteps down the hall is a symphony to my heart.
They sooth me, make me sleep better, and give me the sense my life is full and complete.

When my eyes caught the sight of him as I walked through the door,
I went over to him and imediately gave him a big hug
and told him how I hoped he wouldn't get married for another twenty years!
I meant it to. That was the selfish side of me speaking.
I will never be a mother who embraces empty nesting! NEVER!!!
I hate it!!! I'm not being negative, I'm just being truthful!
I love being a mom and I love having kids in my house to mother!
I love my brood, I love them when they are home. All of them.
 And I'm the happiest when they all come over and fill up every inch of space there is!

Seeing Goose come in the door every night is life's sweetest treat.
Did I tell you Kelson is an easy kid to get along with?
He's happy, he's calm like his father, he's easy going and practical,
He's not too much and he's not too little . . .
of anything!
When I have a problem he gives me wisdom, simple and non critical.
He is always so quick to say I'm sorry. Even when the majority of the problem
doesn't rest in him. That's how he is.
He has the biggest forgivng heart you'll ever run into.
And like his dad, he has a gift for loving people, anyone, no matter their station.

Is it any wonder I love spending time with him.
Is it any wonder I dread the day he leaves.

We just got back from Lake Powell.
Our Lake Powell trip is one of the greatest weeks of the year.
It's one week I get to be confined to a lake and a boat full people I love.
It's not the lake that's great, even with all it's stupendedness.
It's having the chance to be with my kids all to myself for a whole week.
This trip always falls close to Kelson's birthday. He doesn't mind.
And he loves everything we get to do there.
This year Gage designed a master fish stabber. The boys were elated.
As you can see from the picture above, Kelson was succesful on his hunting expeditions.
Glade and I had no end of fun just watching all of them hunt.
It seems watching our kids has become our greatest hobby.

So today, late as it is,
Goose, just want to let you know, you are one terrific son!
First rate all the way!!!

I'm so glad you're still at home. I know it's not top on your list of greats,
but I'm tickled pink that the perfect girl hasn't come along just yet.
Just a bit longer if you please.
Dad and I hope you had an awesome birthday because you are an awesome individual,
an awesome young man, and an awesome blessing to our family!
Happy Birthday bud, I love you!!!

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Lots of birthdays in Aug and Sept.
So stay tuned for
Corbin
Eden
Des
And
Spenceroo