11 Miles

That evening my excitement knew no boundaries.  I put my things on the fireplace hearth with exuberance and happy excited thoughts. There was no fear, no agonizing over how far I had to go. I was dreaming about running in sunshine. Oh the joy, not to mention the warmth! A switch in my thinking maybe, but I was so excited for long mileage in the sun.

I’ve been following a serious training regimen for this ½ marathon since the middle of March.  If I’ve run in sunshine twice I’ll take you to dinner! The standard running weather is a chilly cold 35-45 degree temperature with dark clouds; the second standard is light rain, and the last pattern of weather that has made its presence known far more than not, is the unbearable wind! I hate the wind! I’d rather run in rain!!!

“Wow,” I said to myself as I plugged in my Garmin to charge. “Tomorrow is going to be a sunny day. Oh, I can’t wait!”

That was my thinking at 11:30 at night. I took a nice hot bath, soaked my muscles preparing them for the 5 AM/11-mile journey, set my alarm clock, climbed into bed, said my nightly prayers, flopped on my stomach and died in slumber.

I woke up about 3:45 AM. I looked at the clock and noted the time then fell right back to sleep. I was sleeping soundly, enjoying a serious depth of r.e.m. that resembles the dead, when suddenly someone slapped me! My eyes shot open only to see Kaedell’s face looming over me.

“Mom, get up! You were supposed to be on the road meeting me! Kyle has to go to work early. What are you doing?”

I think about five “Oh my hell’s” came out of my mouth. I jumped to my feet mumbling and berating my stupid alarm clock realizing all the while I must have forgotten to pull the knob up. I ran to the fireplace, shouting apologies and orders for Kadie to get my Ensure out of the fridge. I threw on my things in a flash, ran to the bathroom, sat on the cold white porcelain wondering how bodily functions could be so slow, and out the door we went. I was tired before I even took the first step!

We had to stand for what seemed like an hour waiting for my satellite to connect on my watch. As soon as the line finished it’s direct contact with some piece of metal orbiting millions of miles above the earth, we took off like we were in a race.

I was so mad. I was moaning and beefing a mile a minute all the way down the road. It was consuming my extra energy, I was so furious and tired all in the same breath.

“Wouldn’t ya know it Kaedell.  Here I prepare myself for this nice beautiful sunshiny run and uugh, good grief, what a way to start.” I went on and on about how I didn’t even get to stretch and I how I felt like a mess.

That’s when Kadie told me I’d have to run the last mile and a half by myself because she had to get home and she wasn’t planning on running 12 and half miles today! I nearly started to ball.
“But then we can’t talk afterword’s, have our chocolate milk and Ibuprofen together,” I whimpered.

 “What about stretching? I’m going to have to stretch alone?” I queried.

Kaedell has a particular way she say’s the word “Mom” when she is slightly agitated. All the emphasis flows to the “M” and the “O”. And there is a slight jolt of air that hits me has the final “M” trails from her lips. Its’ very noticeable and always brings me straight up to attention.

“Mom”, she quipped.

I was running by her side now listening carefully when she launched into her explanations of why I was going to miss out on the funnest part of the whole day, finishing with. “Well, you should have gotten out of bed, you’re on your own now!” The words “On your own” resonated in my head like a bad cold.

I think I sulked for the next mile or so, and then I started laughing to myself because she sounded just like me 25 years ago! Ha ha ha, I chuckled she’s a clone of her mother and she doesn’t even know it! With 7 kids who knows how many times I said those exact words in the same exact fashion. Hahahaha I’m still laughing. Oh sweet revenge, she’s becoming me!

I had settled into a pace that wasn’t death taxing when I noticed it, the light.

“Well, this is a new twist Kaedell,” I sputtered.

“Look we are actually running in the light.”

I had finally pulled myself from serious thoughts of disappointment when I lifted my head and started to look at my surroundings. The morning was drop dead gorgeous! And now I was feeling the beauty of it all flow through every vein, pumping up my energies and attitudes. It was so beautiful and I felt my soul connect with the universe and suddenly I was so happy.

We had stopped and drank at the familiar water holes and finally had made our way to the river bottoms at precisely the perfect moment of the morning. It was sunrise. The little red barn backed by the our beautiful snowcapped Rocky Mountains was down right breath taking, not to mention all the fresh spring green surrounding it all. I sighed a big chest romping breath as we crossed the river. It made me wish I had placed my camera around my neck before leaving home it was so beautiful!

Kaedell and I just kept commenting on how pretty the morning was, how absolutely spectacular it was to see those golden rays of light peak over the mountains gently falling on everything in view. We spent a long time talking about how enjoyable it was to run in the sunlight. There is no pill on the market that even comes close to the high we were now experiencing. It was as if we had become one with our surroundings.

It wasn’t long and our feathered friends in the tops of the river bottom trees were calling to us. “Helloooooo” we cried, mocking their high-pitched tonal language. I don’t know what kind of birds live there but they have become our dearest friends.

We made our way up the hill, past the cemetery and back, grabbed our Gatorade out of the fence, and continued on enjoying a remarkable spectacular day.

On our way back across the river I looked and there stretched for what seemed like a mile to the west of us ran our shadows.
“Look Kadie,” I pointed.

The sight gave me an extra turn over in my step and I grabbed my iPhone. I took a picture, then continued on enjoying the company of these dark silhouetted figures bobbing by our sides till they faded out of sight.

The distance passed quickly now and I looked at my watch and told Kaedell she still had another mile to go before she could finish. We were close to her house now. We circled her block in order to add the necessary mileage and I waved good-bye has she bounded up her driveway and into her house. All the way home I was alone with my thoughts.

I had a mile and a half to go. My feet were tired but it was my thoughts now that felt a little heavy. I kept thinking about everything I’d learned in this thing called running. I thought about the beginning when I fought and struggled with every step I took. I’m 53 years old, I’ve always hated running and I had to actually learn how to run correctly in the beginning. The beginning was now firm in my mind.

I thought about the struggle I had with trying to speed walk my running gate. There is no heel striking in running. If there is your body will pay a high price! I pondered over those first months when I couldn’t even sustain my running for a block let alone run most of 11 miles. I still walk while running. The difference is now I run nearly three quarters of every mile and that’s a huge difference for me.

I thought about the tears of disappointment when I’d be coming home from having done four miles, crying because I was so out of shape, so slow, and discouraged with having walked three fourths of it all.

With each step I took now there was a thought of something new I had gained in the struggle to overcome myself. My feet pounded the asphalt now while my mind centered on things like, how my time had improved, my balance and agility had improved, my stamina was better, my mental outlook brighter, my ability to counter act negative thoughts had grown intensely stronger. 

I turned the corner with one mile to go when the tears started to roll down my cheeks in a steady fashion, but for far different reasons than in the beginning when I cried. I am so emotional. I was blubbering now wiping it all away with my shirt.

I thought about that day in Bear Lake one year ago when I saw all the people leaving the park. I wondered what force had made me pull over and inquire as to what was going on. I remembered distinctly the conversation with myself when I climbed back in my car with stories and information about a Bear Lake Marathon. Thoughts of my age, what I had really done with my life thus far, what I wanted to do with my life all came back to me.

That day as I left the park and drove to my cabin I knew I wasn’t ready for 26.2 miles, but I kept wondering if there was ever anyway I could learn and get ready to run 13.1 miles. That was it, that wondering sent me into a frame of determination that was unshakeable.

“I’m gonna’ do it,” I boldly proclaimed out loud. I’ve got a whole year to prepare for it and I’m going to do this thing if it kills me!

Now my crying had really started to interfere with my breathing. I could not run, cry and breath all at the same time. The emotion of how far I had come since that day in Bear Lake overwhelmed me. To a distant by stander it might not be much, but to me it’s been an amazing experience in learning to overcome the parts of myself that seem to constantly stake me down in life.

I have long fought a voice in my head that tells me everyday, I’m no good. I have wrestled with it, warred with it, and battled it in ways few people will ever understand. But today with only a ½ mile to go I was feeling something I hadn’t felt in a long, long time, the disturbing voice in the back of my head was losing power.

Suddenly I had to stop on the side of the road and bend over. I couldn’t breath now. I was in a serious chokehold between a flood of emotion and an overwhelming abundance of gratitude. I think I would have dropped to my knees right then and there if it hadn’t been broad daylight, because the prayer that started to take form in my heart was to heavy to carry. I tried to get a hold of myself. I took some deep breaths and started walking. Then I was laughing because here I was out on the road for a silly run and I was crying like a silly idiot and I just kept thinking; I’m nuts!

I mixed prayers of gratitude, walking, running and trying to breath the rest of the way home. I finished the 11 miles pleasantly tired and gratefully overwhelmed.  

When I walked in the house and sat down in the kitchen to drink my chocolate milk. I pulled out a talk that Elder Holland gave at a CES fireside in 2008. I found this talk a year ago and printed it off. It’s a talk I turn to quite often and carry with me in my heart. The talk is entitled “Lessons From Liberty Jail.”

Now as I sat there drinking my milk I read the familiar words I’d read time and time again one year ago when this all started.

Exerpt from “Lessons From Liberty Jail:

“The first lesson from Liberty Jail is inherent to everyone. All of us will be called upon to face trying times. When that happens we can sometimes fear that God has abandoned us, and we might be left, at least for a time, to wonder when our troubles will ever end. As individuals, as families, as communities, and as nations, probably everyone has had or will have an occasion to feel as Joseph Smith felt when he cried from the depth and discouragement of his confinement: “O God, where art thou? … How long shall thy hand be stayed? Yea, O Lord, how long shall [thy people] suffer … before … thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?” (D&C 121:1–3).

Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry, “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us.

When lonely, cold, hard times come, we have to endure, we have to continue, we have to persist. That was the Savior’s message in the parable of the importuning widow (see Luke 18:1–8; see also Luke 11:5–10). Keep knocking on that door. Keep pleading. In the meantime, know that God hears your cries and knows your distress. He is your Father, and you are His child.”

Elder Holland’s talk ends with a scripture and an admonishment to do all things cheerfully. In D&C 123:17 it reads, “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power . . .”

When I think of my preparation for a 13.1 mile race, I am happy that I can stand and say with complete confidence, “I have done all things in my power.” Here I sat now at my kitchen bar knowing with only two weeks left until my race, this is one goal in my life I can honestly say I have attacked with a vengeance, doing everything I can think of to succeed. There are very few things I can say that about in my life. I’m usually not a person that sets any goals, and this is one of the things I wanted to change about myself.

However, the part I want to emphasize today is that my Father in Heaven has blessed me with lessons from my own jailed frame of mind. We all confine ourselves to a jail cell of limited thinking. There isn’t a person on the earth that doesn’t struggle to overcome thoughts that bind and limit us. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our thinking often imprisons’ us, holding us to a way of being that doesn’t further our growth or bring us any benefits.

I am so thankful today that my Heavenly Father guided me to set a goal. I’m thankful he led me to embark on a path that has led me up and over a mountain.  It’s not easy to climb over myself, and trust me; it’s been a steep mountain!

I’m so thankful He inspired my daughter Kaedell to run by my side. He knew my head with all of it’s negative banter would need a friend on those long drawn out discouraging exhausting runs. It’s been such a blessing to share this experience with my daughter.

In every step of the way my Father in Heaven has provided the means for me to accomplish my goal.  I guess you could say my goal was to run a ½ marathon, but in learning to run 13.1 miles I have learned 13.1 million ways to overcome myself. And that was really the heart of my goal in the first place!

As I sat there looking at my empty milk glass, I felt full in ways words can describe. I knew very well why I was overcome with emotion and gratitude while on the road. Because when I turned that last corner to make my way home it was the first time I could honestly see the finish line and I could see myself crossing it the way I wanted to cross it, having conquered the unconquerable. Since I started this journey I have never once closed my eyes at night with out the same plea to my Heavenly Father, “Please make me strong.”

Every morning when I wake up I repeat the same words “Help me be strong.”

When I cross the finish line in two weeks, I know I’m going to get my first PR. I know it’s not going to be great by the running world’s standard, but I know it’s going to be great for me. My first PR is going to impress no one but me. I don’t care because, that’s whose opinion counts in this race! MINE! This is my race--- my race against today and a race against me. Today I am grateful. I can feel the parts of me that have been greatly altered, and that has been worth every struggle!

Today as I stood still on the road, just as the scripture states, I saw my Heavenly Father’s arm in it all, every mile of the way He has improved me! I am amazed at how He knows me, more so than I ever possibly imagined, I am continually amazed at how He loves me, and come race day, I will sing praises of gratitude because He and my Savior have strengthened me in the best ways possible, on the inside!

Tuesday May 25^th, 2010 – mileage 11 awesome miles! 

Happy Anniversary

It's happened; I can barely remember my own anniversary, and now I am forgetting my childrens' . . . well, sort of. Today I really wasn't coherent as to what the exact date was. I knew it was Saturday, I knew it was some day in May, but that was the extent of my knowledge concerning what day it was. Today I was located in Portland, Oregon. I was up early, packing to come home. I wasn't thinking about anniversaries, I was riding on a bus in the pouring rain, fighting crowds at airports, all the while thinking as far as a trip is concerned, I got ripped off, because it was way too short!
When I got home I tried to call Kaedell. If I had a nickel for every time Kadie doesn't answer her phone, I'd be a millionaire. She did not answer, and I was not surprised.  Later on my phone finally rang, and that's when she informed me she had a good reason for not answering her phone, "Mom, it's my anniversary!"
"Is today the 22nd I retorted?"
"A . . . ya, mom!" was her quick response.
I went into my lengthy apology for not remembering what day it was. I know Kadie and Kyle's anniversary is May 22nd. I just need someone to remind me when May 22nd is finally here. I guess this is where I should insert, "Good hell", and go into some lengthy exasperative description of how pathetic my memory is getting!
Kadie and Kyle have been married 8 years. I was hunting for a picture of them both together and found this one. What a handsome couple! They just look like a match made in heaven. And that's because they are.
I still remember the first time Kyle knocked on my front door. He was coming over for that so called, first date, and with the cutest girl in PC, I might add! Later that night after he brought Kaedell home, I remember kidding her about how cute he was. He didn't take me long to figure out Kaedell thought so too.
From then on, every time the phone rang Kaedell was up and to it in two rings. We were sitting at the bar one night eating super and the phone rang. I've never seen Kaedell move so fast in my life! I thought she was going to fall down and break something as she scrambled to her feet to race over and grab the phone. It was comical and we were all teasing her and laughing. I won't even go into the look on her face when she saw "Ellis" printed across the caller ID.
You have to know the Crowther's. We really don't believe in answering the phone. We avoid the phone like the plague! Usually we have to pay someone to even go over and remotely look at the caller ID. So when I tell you Kaedell got so excited about Kyle calling her, this is no exaggeration!
I had seen Kadie with a lot of different boys. And from the first time Kyle showed up on my door step, I had a hunch he was going to be the lucky guy who snagged up the most wonderful girl ever! And this is where I want to say we got ourselves quite a catch too, because Kyle is a wonderful guy and a wonderful son-in-law.
Together they are the cutest couple and they have added two cute kids to this beautiful union. Who your children marry greatly impacts your family. I'm thankful for Kyle and the importance he places on being one with the Crowther's. He is as much of a "Crowther" as he is an "Ellis." I love that about him! I've long known the Ellis family and I can't think of a greater family I'd like to be connected too. Kyle is an extension of a a wonderful family that I'm happy to have grown up with, to know, and to love. I am so happy they raised a really great son. Kyle is a great asset to our family and we are lucky to have him and together he Kaedell make quite the couple! I'm so proud of them both!
Happy Anniversary you two! You are a blessing to the Crowther clan and we love you!

To Run Or Not To Run

The wind was howling like a lone dog in heat. I hate the wind. I sat down on the hearth listening to it with all its hissing and moaning. I looked out the window and could see the willow tree in the field thrashing to and fro. Wind is no excuse to withhold long distance mileage out on the road. I could hear Kaedell’s voice in the back of my head,

“Mom, the wind makes us strong.”

No, I thought to myself, what the wind does, is, make me ornery. Running in the wind feels like I’m trying to push a dead cow down the road and I don’t need any help feeling encumbered.

After I dressed I heard the next dismal sound, rain, hitting the glass. My attitude began to grow increasingly testy. I questioned back and forth in my head what to do. I had conversations with the man up stairs, who governs it all, ran questions past Him as to what he had in mind for my ten miles of agony.

As I made my way over to the kitchen sink, I stood for sometime looking at the bottle of Ensure, and then vowed a sacred vow, “I am not drinking this crap and going back to bed.”

As I stood pondering, I heard the rain stop. I walked to the back door and stepped outside. I took my time looking over the situation, enlisted all brainpower in trying to assess the cloud matter that was swirling everywhere. It all looked threatening enough, but strangely somewhere inside my frame, a little feeling of optimism began to grow and I decided I was going to challenge it all.

I walked back in the house, noted Kaedell hadn’t called, went over to the kitchen counter, grabbed the Ensure and choked down the entire bottle. That’s it! I’m running! I plugged in my equipment; threw on my vest and out the front door I went.

My Garmin finally came. I love Mother’s Day! Thank you everyone! It felt good strapped on my wrist. When I stepped onto the road I fired up the satellite. Technology is amazing. A little device on my wrist that can tell me where I am, where I’m going, how to get home, how far I’ve been, and a plethora of other information. Too bad the little amazing piece of machinery can’t just run for me! Ha Ha Ha Ha

I hadn’t started down the road very far when I felt raindrops on my face. I looked up at the sky and pleaded. “OH, come on! Please!!! I have a long way to go!”  I have to laugh because I no more got that request out of my mouth and the wind began to blow hard. I started laughing.

“I get it.”  I said,”

I knew right then and there, as bad as I hate wind, my Heavenly Father was doing me a favor. He was blowing away the rain! That’s how life is. That’s how prayers are answered, often times in ways we least expect and don’t like! I think my Heavenly Father has a sense of humor. I chuckled, expressed gratitude in the wind and continued down the road with a big smile and firm dose of positive thinking.

“Today’s going to be a great day, no matter what.”

It wasn’t long and the wind calmed right down just after the rain quit. I took it as a blessing for having accepted my plight with cheerfulness. With no wind and no rain, I was now pleasantly content with the day’s events and told my Heavenly Father thank you.

I was now nearly a half-mile down the road. The sky was pitch black and looked more like mid-night than 5:15 in the morning. Where is the light, I wondered? I had cranked my tunes up and my pace was deliberately slow. That’s when it happened. Suddenly and without any warning, there was a large animal running across the ends of my feet. It shot across me like a thunderbolt and I let out a blood-curdling scream. The whole incident sent my pace into high gear and I’ve never run so fast in my whole life. Suddenly I was impressively sprinting.  

At first I thought it was a skunk, but after it cleared my feet, I saw the rings around its tail. It didn’t take the little varmint long before he bolted into the weeds on the other side of the road. It all happened so fast I thought my heart was going to fail to restart! I’m sure it stopped beating for nearly a minute! The funny part is I knew I had scared him as much as he had scared me.

After my 60-second sprint, my heart started beating again and my lungs were able to suck in some much needed air. I started singing, boisterously loud, “La, la la la la.” Went the chorus and I kept on singing down the road; I was making sure the animal kingdom knew I too was awake and milling about the universe. I also quickly moved my body to the center of the road. I decided to take my chances with any cars verses being run over by a wild animal.

I soon met up with Kaedell (a welcome sight) and told her the whole story. Now we were both a little cautious as to the company hiding in the weeds as we made our way down the road. Once we neared more houses and fewer weeds, we forgot about the animals and focused our attention on how warm the morning was, even without light.  I pulled out my phone and realized our normal temperatures of 45 degrees had shot up to 62. Wow, it was warm!

By the time we were nearing Kaedell’s house, she had decided she was hot and she quickly dumped her extra layers at her house as we passed by. We continued on our way.

The weekly tradition of running long mileage has now become ritualistic in its patterns that are repeated from beginning to end. The morning begins the same. The route is the same, the watering holes, our common stops, all fit into the plan that is executed over and over again. The river bottoms greet us at about the same hour and we make our way up over the small hill to the cemetery just as the sun positions it’s self in about the same place in the sky.

I guess you could say the height of our ritual is reached and celebrated as we make the half way mark, turn ourselves homeward bound. As we do we always stop just as the birds cry to us and we pluck the life sustaining liquid from the same spot we placed it in the night before, drinking as we go. I have grown to love the ritual.

As Kaedell and I found ourselves pushing towards home, I opened up my packet of Gu and proceeded to take some in. Suddenly a small glob shot across me hitting Kaedell right in the hand. I started laughing. When I’m running I have no extra air for laughing. Kadie tried to wipe it off her hand. I tried to help. We both learned something very important about Gu! Do not touch that stuff because Gu is not really Gu, it’s just an abbreviation for GLUE!

Suddenly we were sticking to each other and sticking to everything in sight. Luckily there was a puddle near by and we both went over and tried to wash it off our hands and anything else we’d touched.

We continued all the way home laughing and talking about some of the day’s events. As we rounded the corner nearing home, I felt something. I was running but my pants were sticking to my leg. I looked down and realized a glob of Gu had finally made its path all the way down my leg and had reached the bottom of my pants, now firmly cementing them to my leg.

Kaedell took one look at my pants and flipped into a state of hysteria! I must admit it was pretty funny. I looked like I had poured it on me instead of ingesting it. We were almost home now and her laughter slowed her right down. I was mumbling statements like,

“Oh good hell.” And

“I can’t even eat Gu out on the road. How am I going to ever manage drinking orange juice on the run when we have to stop at the aid stations.”

All my beefing and moaning with the sight of Gu dripping down my black pant leg only served to heighten Kaedell’s jovial giggles.

All the laughing eased my aching joints and sore muscles as Kaedell and I walked up the driveway. Today was a good day, a good run, and a good memory.

When we got in the house, we drank our chocolate milk, popped our Ibuprofen 800’s and I tried to wash some of the Gu off me.

After that I sat down on the floor to take my shoes off and stretch. As I pulled my left shoe off I noticed it was dirty. I was angry at the sight of dirt on my nice shinny white Newtons.  It was my left shoe. I pulled it a little closer to see what was on it. I wasn’t kidding when I said an animal ran across my feet. The muddy little claw print was on my shoe, evidence of my morning scare.

My left shoe is sacred now! I don’t think I’ll ever wash it. I want to show it to my grandkids when I’m 80.

“Yup, sonny! That’s where the little critter ran across your grandma’s foot!”

Isn’t life amazing!

I love running!

(Mileage 5/18/2010 - 10 miles)

Beautiful Day For A Race!

I woke up bright and early on Saturday and found myself alone in the world. Glade was working at the Lake, Des was off with her friends, Goose and Seth all gone as well. No one home. Not one soul around. I called Kaedell to see if she wanted to be my side kick for the morning, since she's in marathon mode. I thought maybe she'd like to see the runners, and she was too busy too. I almost called an older grandkid, but then I remembered soccer and piano.
Saturday for those of you who are oblivious to the running world just happened to be the Ogden Marathon. I actually tried to sign up for the Ogden 1/2, but if you don't sign up early, this marathon is ranked number 9 in the country and it fills up fast.
I sort of felt stupid going alone, but I just wanted to see it. I wanted to see everything, get a feel for maybe what it will be like when I am actually in one. I had a few friends that were running in it, so I decided I was going even if I had to go alone. At the last minute I grabbed my camera and (be still my heart) I'm so glad I did! A camera is always the best friend you can take with you anywhere!
I drove to 12th street and caught a large group of runners coming under the bridge there at the mouth of the canyon. There were a few people cheering for them and you could clearly see, having someone to clap and shout from the sideline really meant a lot to the runners.
It didn't take me long and I got right into the cheering. One man stretched his hand out and I gave him a high five on his way past. The whole scene was the most inspirational thing I've seen in a long time. Really, it was one of the best things I've ever watched.
I hadn't been there ten minutes when who came barreling around the corner, a girl I love with all my heart, Meredith! I hurried and snapped a picture, clapped and whistled as loud as I could and nearly started to ball! Well, the look on her face was absolutely motivating and knowing what these runners had gone through to get here left me fighting back the tears.

After seeing Meredith, I knew I had to get to the finish line. I knew right then, that's where I wanted to be with my camera. Being about three miles away, I jumped in my car and headed to 25th and Grant. The runners would continue down the Ogden walkway, past the old rodeo grounds, under the bridge there on washington, they would come out on Grant and head South to 25th street where the big green banner stretched across marking the end. 

I positioned myself about three quarters from 25th street itself and got ready with my camera to see who I could catch. 

Bryce Moyes came by and totally took me by surprise. I should have known, he's a runner! He's a Moyes!

I loved watching families join in the race at the end to support a loved one. And the faces of the participants were incredible to see.

                          

It didn't take Meredith long to clock that three miles and I was ready for her. Her smile said it all.

It wasn't long and I spotted Amy Moyes. I enjoyed so many years of working in the young women when Amy was in my ward. This girl can keep you in side splitting hysteria non stop. I hadn't seen her in a long time and I was so excited to take her picture! She's number 6449.

There were the ladies in pink. They were bringing it home together! And I loved their camaraderie!

This mother/son team caught my eye. It took me a minute and I realized it was Merilyn Jenkins Haslam. How fun to run with your son!

Cute little Tiffany Harding came buzzing by not even cracking a sweat. She told me later her family missed her at the finish line and she was so happy because this was the only photo anyone took of her running. See I was inspired!

I was so happy to see my friend and co-worker Janna Shultz heading towards me. Jana has given me some good advice and she gives us grandmas out on the road a good name. I wish I could run as fast. Thanks, Jana for all your help and advice. Great job! 

I started laughing when I saw the man in Pink. Remember the saying, "Be alive, while you are alive!" Well, creativity has no bounds. This man in non other than the surgeon, Dr. Edward Jordan. You can't drive through Ogden and not see him running somewhere. 

He runs the marathon every year in a different outfit. His wife, never knows what he's going to be dressed in until he comes flyin' by. 

Notice his tag is yellow. He is in the middle of the pack of 1/2 marathoners, but this man is running the full thing. Which means he is running like a gazelle! Laugh if you will at his costume, but his running pace puts most people to shame. 

Last year he ran 26.2 miles in a full blown clown suit. Ya, lets see ya do that! 

My old friend and neighbor Natalie, came running past. Miss you Nattie! Move back to Plain City!

We staged this shot because the Adams family was slow to get out of bed. Hahahahaha! Cassie's dad Larry was saying maybe he'd run a marathon next year. I teased him unmercifully that the only place he runs to is the coke machine up my road and he does that in his clean car (LOL). He was holding a coke in his hand when I was teasing him. I told him he was probably late and missed Cassie's amazing finish, because he was at the quarter pop machines buyin' that coke! Good job Cassie. How do people look so cute at the end of a 1/2 marathon?

I felt bad that there were a few people I missed. I so' wanted to see Cami Moyes. I needed to get out bed earlier to catch her, she burned up the road and finished first in her class. And I missed Jackie Ellis Greenwell. She was doing her first 1/2 marathon and I so wanted to see her. Then I missed cute little Shannie Skeen. But I was happy as a lark when Marcie came running by. Marcie knew I had my camera and she would not look at me for anything. hahahaha

The last picture I snapped brought tears to my eyes. Just a raggedy old piece of cardboard, but the message made me cry. It's the message my kids tell me everyday. Things like "You can do it mom, and you're going to be awesome, and all sorts of over embellished encouragement's. Their voices mean everything!

In my heart I worry I won't be any good, or I'm going to fail miserably. I worry about how slow I am, and wonder if I'm getting any better at anything. But it's their voices that keep me working hard and heading toward my goal. 

Watching the Ogden race was one of the most inspiring things I've done in my training.  A thousand different people crossing the finish line all at different times, but all crossing with having done they're very best. There is something to be said for the personal endeavor of climbing over oneself to do what a person didn't think he could do! It's a race where you try to beat yourself! And working towards bettering the power a person has within, is a most worth while goal! I'm so glad I went because seeing everyone's faces cross the finish line, reminded me why I am doing this in the first place! 

Beautiful Day!  

Recital Time

She wanted to quit a few hours before the recital.

After all, preforming in front of an audience is really, r e a l l y' scary!

I told Miss Kate I would pay top dollar for a seat in her recital.  

She took me up on that offer and now I owe her a big surprise! 

Kate you played so well! Grandma could listen to you play the piano all day!

Those little fingers have talent and you were wonderful!

When you hear my daughters play the piano so beautifully, you can thank the great lady standing in the middle of the above picture. She is my long time friend and the most talented lady there is when it comes to the ebony and ivory! BethAnn is amazing not only in her ability to play beautifully, but her ability to pass those skills onto her students ---that is equally amazing! (Not to mention what a wonderful person she is!)

BethAnn has a amazing touch with teaching kids. She is the greatest piano teacher I know and I can pick out one of her students a mile away!
I went to a talent show at Weber High a few years back, and one of the girls in the show preformed an amazing number on the piano. After the show I walked up to her and said, "You are a student of BethAnn Williams aren't you?" I wish I could have recorded the look on her face. "Yes, how did you know?" was her surprised reply. I wanted to launch into my story of how I've listened to BethAnn for years and how I wished I had just a a measure of her abilities in me, but I left it with, "Oh, I just know!"

Well it was a wonderful recital and I'm glad Kate is following in her mother's footsteps! Sticking through years of piano lessons with your children is no easy task. But there is nothing so worth while!

Great job Kate!

10.2 Miles

Breakfast Of Champions

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

There was an annoying noise far off in the distance. Everything seemed fuzzy at first then I realized it was my alarm clock rendering the disturbing noise. I silenced it by shoving the button down hard and noted the time, 4:32 AM.

I couldn't have been deeper in my sleep. And it felt good considering my usual habit of worrying and waking up at all hours of the night prior to a long run. Still looking at the numbers on the clock made me want to hang my head low and mournfully cry.
In case you're wondering why I'm writing this down, I'm recording this for future generations. Somewhere down the genealogical line when my bones have turned to dust maybe some great, great, great grandchild will read this and think "Wow, Grandma ran a 1/2 marathon ---cool!" 
The word, "grandma" really makes the term "1/2 marathon" sound far more impressive, doncha' think? Well, as a grandma I hope it helps some distant grandchild of mine take a minute to stop and think positively about anything they want to accomplish. It's my way of cheering to them from the grave, something like, "What ever it is, you can do it."
Regardless of why I'm writing these experiences down, more importantly, every day as the miles increase in my running schedule and the date, June 12th, looms closer, the thought, "Why did I do this", enters my head far more repetitively. I can't get over how fear creeps into my soul, whispering little messages of failure looming ahead. I really have to stop and think about how fear is only the absence of faith. So I grab hold of the positive and push on for the goal at hand, hoping I can do well for myself. I've given it everything I've got so far. Left no rock unturned, so to speak. I've worked hard and I've put my "all" into it.
Now back to the morning.
I rolled my tired body over and forced it into a kneeling position, covers wrapped well around my shoulders to shut out the cold, then began my morning conversations with my Heavenly dad. One year ago prayer became a ritual in my life, morning and night. Up until then it was a hit and miss thing, sometimes hitting more than missing, sometimes missing more than hitting. I hate inconsistency. Now praying is habitual. I have learned that a day without prayer, isn't much of a day.
While kneeling beneath the warmth of my covers, I ask my Heavenly Father if He were tired of hearing my same mumblings, but expressed that my gratitude for certain things in this life, never change. In fact the older I get the more my sense of appreciation grows for the very things I've always been grateful for. The older I get how can I not express a grateful heart for my good health, for Glade and his good health, my children, my children's children, all of us in good health, and the fact that I can run at all. So that's how the conversation went, with expressions of gratitude for all I enjoy every single day I open my eyes and breath. After expressing a grateful heart, I presented the long list of needs that seemingly overwhelm me at times. I finished with the usual pleading, "Please, make me strong in every way!"
The floor felt hard the minute my feet swung from the bed and landed. I picked my way through the dark to the living room, sat down on the fireplace hearth and turned on the fire. It felt good to just sit there and absorb the heat into my stiff frame. I thought about being sad when I noticed it wasn't raining outside which meant there was no hope of getting out of the task at hand, but I bolstered up my positive thinking and pushed the negative desires away, as I dressed and tied my shoes.
Being fully clothed, I then went over to the kitchen and consumed my breakfast of champions. This consisted of Chocolate Ensure, half of a small sweet wheat bagel topped with peanut butter and honey, and one banana. I washed it all down with my Chia water and felt like heaving. I don't really care for food at 4:50 in the morning. But I have learned I'm not going to go the distance without it. I should have eaten it sooner, but better late than never, is what I always say.
The morning ritual is always the same. After dressing and eating, I hook up my iPhone, stretch, step outside and make sure my clothing fits the weather, slap on my head band because my ears freeze at this hour and then hit the stopwatch as soon as my feet hit the road.
According to Kaedell's explicit instructions the night before, I was to leave my house at 5:15 and then somewhere in the dark we would meet. I looked at my watch, I was right on time as my tired frame slowly entered into the pace, running is all about the pace. As I lumbered along I noticed the road was damp and wondered if Kadie and I were going to get wet. I was ecstatic though that there was not one single ounce of wind.
As I made my way to the end of my road I saw a dark figure round the corner. I could tell by the bounce in her step it was my energetic little daughter. Kaedell got a new Heart Monitor for Mother's day and she quickly informed me we had both gone a 1/2 mile. I gave a groaning sound and made some sarcastic comment about only having a mere 8 and 1/2 left to go. Kadie turned in my direction, we lined up side by side and matched our pace heading South.
I like running with Kadie, she has become a little lean mean running machine. I slow her down a little bit and she speeds me up a lot! I was tired and had been feeling weary all week, but the Ensure was starting to take effect and soon my concentration shifted from my lack of energy to the chit chat between my daughter and I. Kadie and I move our mouths much faster than we move our feet. I like how conversing distracts me and steels my thoughts from the agony of what I'm doing.

Interestingly enough, our conversation turned to that of walking. We were discussing how some people find it seriously shameful to even mention the word "walk" if they are a avid runner. To some runners "Walk" is a four letter word, LOL. 
A friend of mine who is a runner thinks it is totally beneath her dignity to even consider walking while running. These kinds of ideas drive me wild. After all, I am first and foremost a walker. I entered three years of walk racing long before I took up running and I still love a good fast paced walk. Walking has benefits that could be touted all day.

This led Kadie and I to a discussion about the great benefits of adding walking to your running regimen, especially when you're so tired you think your going to die. That's the perfect time to add a little brisk walking to your routine!  
I was telling Kaedell all about Jeff Galloway, a serious runner and trainer that advocates the run/walk method. Check out his charts and ideas for instruction! And so Kadie and I continued down the road doing our thing, which by the way consists of running, walking, talking, and being proud of it all! 

It wasn't long after our lengthy conversation about walking that we found ourselves at the watering hole. Kadie and I were both sad to find the doors to Fremont locked. We increased our mileage by running around the whole school checking every door. We made a last ditch effort to check the outside fountain only to find it dry. I reminded Kaedell about our secret stash in the cemetery and we pushed on.

Kaedell had tried to talk me out of our original route the night before, but there is something about the river bottoms that I can't give up. Even though it's probably the busiest territory we cross, I love it there. Besides it feels good to go for a run and end up in another city! You know you're clocking some serious milage when you cross towns.

It didn't seem like we'd been running that long when I spotted the cemetery. I couldn't get over how fast the morning had gone by. Kadie kept giving me an update on our mileage with her new Polar heart rate monitor. I was so impressed! I got one for mother's day too, but mine hasn't arrived yet. After all the info Kaedell was able to give me about our distance, pace and speed, I can't wait for mine to come.

Coming up the slight incline I spotted the Gatorade poking out of the fence. We decided to try a sports drink instead of just plain old water. I got to do the stashing the night before. Going to the cemetery at ten thirty at night all by myself is a real treat. We decided to leave the Gatorade stuck in the fence until we were on our way back and as I turned my focus from the liquid in the fence to the road,  I saw it, a dead black cat lying in the middle of the road. 
The sight shocked me. Last May exactly one year ago, I had an interesting experience in Hawaii with a black cat and how it became a dead black cat. It's a long story I've only shared with one other person, but an interesting one that still impacts me deeply on the inside. As Kaedell and I approached the dead cat, all my memories of Hawaii and that experience came flooding back.

Now mind you this little road maybe has five houses on it, and isn't long enough to bring a motorized vehicles speedometer up to 25 miles an hour. Kaedell and I questioned how it was even possible for a cat to be hit and killed on this road at all, especially when there was zero traffic.
As I stood there looking at this poor dead cat, everything I had experienced one year prior came rolling back with great force. I think sometimes the Lord gets tired of trying to teach us the same thing over and over again. The experience in Hawaii with the cat there, drove home a lesson I had long been needing to learn and here I was standing over the same scene again. 
Immediately, thinking about that day a year ago, I realized it was nearly the same hour, that I stood in a busy intersection in Hawaii looking at  the same exact thing ---a dead black cat. I remember what I had said to it the day before when it crossed my path, and I remember thinking then, "I killed this poor cat!" The whole story is a silly sorted tale, with amazing meaning.  And now here I was having a repeat. The only difference is thankfully I hadn't spoken to this cat, so I didn't feel I had literally caused it's death per se! 
A coincidence? Perhaps some would doubt it's validity as a spiritual manifestation of great insight, but to me it was absolutely no coincidence. The same principal I learned one year prior was being driven home once again. It was in Hawaii that I started running and for an important reason. While there on vacation, I got up every morning at five and ran on the beach. The dead cat I encountered there while running each morning had crossed my path several times alive and well throughout the week. The day before he died I had given him a name and some instructions. The instruction was meaningful to me. The next day, I found him lying dead in the middle of the road. Shocked I stood looking at the cat and that's when the Lord brought to light important principals I had long over looked.
Sometimes the spirit is direct in it's teaching even with something as odd as a dead black cat. I knew the point my Father In Heaven was driving home to me in Hawaii the first time the whole ordeal imploded me and now as I grabbed the tail of the dead animal before me, dragging it to the side of the road where some car couldn't mangle it. The spirit repeated the powerful message to me once again with great force. This cat's body was still warm and it hadn't been dead very long and as silly as it sounds there was meaning and a message for me in this poor kitty's death.
I will close this paragraph with four admonishments regarding the whole seemingly crazy ordeal. 
1- God is all powerful and will always triumph over Satan. 
2- Our individual worth in God's eyes is something we barely understand and cannot be altered in anyway. We are His children and He loves us beyond all comprehension and we need to value who we are!
3- Imperative lessons we need to learn in this life can be taught in ways we least expect, even ways that include a dead cat.
4- This life is spiritual even if you don't know it or live with respect to this fact ----it is!
With the cat moved to the side of the road, Kadie and I finished our distance and turned our direction to head home. It is a good feeling to be homeward bound. In fact, it's the best feeling there is. I asked Kadie what our mileage was and discovered we were more than half way.
I ate my Gu on the way home and pondered on the mornings experiences. Kaedell draws upon energy reserves I cannot fathom. She just likes to pack her Gu in her pocket. I have yet to see her use it once. I was teasing her on the way home saying, "Are you just carrying that for extra weight?" 
"Well, we're almost home mom, why use it now?" was her come back. 
We shared the Gatorade we had plucked out of the fence and I soon discovered Blueberry Gatorade and Raspberry Gu really don't taste good together. 
Kadie and I have discovered every fountain in town. It's nice to have more than one watering hole. We stopped at the one by the square and drank for some time. The water was cold and it felt good swirling down my throat. We finished drinking and proceeded on. Only a mile and a half left.
My Gu was kicking in and my spirits were lifted with the morning milage nearly behind us. As we rounded the last corner and my house came into view, my heart gave a leap and then Kaedell gave me the astonishing news. We were not yet home and we had already completed 9.7 miles. I looked at Kadie and said, "What the heck." Well at least I think I said the word heck. Ok, so maybe I said Hell. At 9.7 miles, I can't remember. Right then though I thought about telling Kaedell she was fired as our milage manager. Then it came to me and I looked at her and words came out of my mouth that I couldn't believe. I stared into her eyes and said, "We may as well go 10!" We both laughed and the last little distance we slowed it right down and finished the morning clocking 10.2 miles. 
I love running!

Friends & Family Days At Eddie Bauer

This is it people! A chance to get a nice discount at Eddie Bauer. The sale starts the 17th, ends the 23rd and Eddie Bauer is going green! No more family cards, just go to the following website and enter your email address. You will be sent a discount code and you can have fun shopping.

Go to WWW.eddiebauer.com/friendsandfamily, enter the password "SUMMER10"

You will receive an email on the 16th of May with your code to shop!

If by chance you miss entering this, just go into the Eddie Bauer Ogden Store and tell them Faye sent you. I think you'll still get the sale. Best though if you have the code.

Thanks Friends and Family :)

Happy Shopping!

Happy Birthday Kyle

Kyle is a hard one to get a picture of. He loves dodging the camera. I teased him this morning in a text message that I was looking for the picture I've posted here on the blog of him a million times. It's a picture he just loves (not). And I teased him that I was going to find it and post it once more. Lucky for him I'm getting so many pictures I can't even find that picture.

Kadie helped me out with the above photo. Sadly, I learned today and with Kate's birthday that I really need to organize my pictures.

Today though I'd like to take a minute and wish Kyle the best birthday ever. And I just want to thank him for being a great addition in the 'sons' department!

As you can see from his working apparel he's wearing here in my kitchen in Bear Lake, one of the things I love about him is his willingness to get in and help with just about anything!
Besides being a terrific father and a superb husband to my little daughter, Kyle is just a great guy period!
When a mother adds to her family, most mother's hope the person coming into the family comes with lots of love and a willingness to give that love genuinely back in rich abundance. That's what I love about Kyle. He makes it a top priority to be one of us. And when you are around him you know it's important to him.

Well, Kyle everyone here at the Crowther house wishes you an awesome birthday. Thanks for loving us the way you do and for always being willing to help. I especially appreciate that help you so willingly give to me personally. I could ask Kyle for help with anything and he'd show up ASAP!
Thanks for being a wonderful part of our family and for being the great person that you are.
Happy Birthday! We love you!!!

Top Ten Ways You Can Tell If Your Wife Is Really Going To Run A 1/2 Marathon

This is a list of the top ten ways you can tell if your wife is serious about running that 1/2 marathon!

Clue Number 10- She's always on a special runners diet.

Clue Number 9- Misery likes company. Because she's on a special diet and exercising, she demands you now diet and exercise too.

Clue Number 8- When you open the fridge, every water container has Chia seeds floating in it.

Clue Number 7- Everything bookmarked by her on your new Mac laptop now has the word "Running" in it.

Clue Number 6- The tennis shoe that normally ran you thirty to forty bucks has now been replaced by the running shoe that costs well over a hundred and she has to have more than one pair.

Clue Number 5- You see your wife dressed in spandex far more often than in jeans. (This is an obvious perk!)

Clue Number 4- Your pantry is continually stocked with predominantly power bars and Gu.

Clue Number 3- You never see you're wife wearing her sports bra, you only dodge them as they hang to dry in the bathroom.

Clue Number 2- Every week, chocolate milk and Ibuprofen are the main items on the grocery list.

And the number 1 dead giveaway you can tell your wife is really going to run that half marathon is;

At night when you both climb into bed and she gives you the age old excuse, she's too tired --- she's telling the truth!

Happy Mother's Day Muth

I love throwing things away and I happen to be very good at it. The other day I was going through my stuff and getting rid of junk when I came across all the letters I received on my mission. I am ashamed to say that the thought of throwing them away did enter my mind for a split second. Then I thought of the hours spent writing all those letters and was overwhelmed with gratitude to the people that took time out of their hectic lives to show their love and support for me during those two years and four days in Singapore and Malaysia. Needless to say my love for getting rid of junk was overpowered by that gratitude and the letters are safe. I started reading them one by one and decided that I was going to count each letter and give some people in my family some much needed praise. Well it wasn't too much of a surprise to find out that Mom wrote me the most. She nearly filled up a shoe box all by herself. Since Mother's Day is today I mainly wanted to write this post for you Mom and tell you how grateful I am to have a Mother as great as you. You wrote me 214 letters while I was serving my mission. That means every three and a half days you were writing me one of those 10 sized font, single spaced, typed front and back, multiple page letters. I think about how I hate writing letters and how I probably should have written my own brothers more on their missions and it means even more to me. With four boys serving missions you probably wrote or typed close to 900 letters! How did you do it? Well the answer is simple really - you love your children more than anything else. I've never doubted it and that is one of the greatest blessings a kid can have in this life. I know you would do anything for your children and wanted to say thanks for all you do for me. We took this picture the night I got home from my mission. I guess that is what writing 214 letters does to you. Those letters kept me going for those two years and I know lots of love went in to each and every one. Today I just wanted to post a little something to tell you how much I love you. I know I don't tell you or show you enough and for that I am sorry. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day cause you deserve it. Love ya, Seth

Happy Mother's Day to the Best Mom Ever!!!

Happy Mothers Day!!!
Mom, I wanted to post a picture of me and you when I was little, but did not get one scanned into my computer. I found this little picture of you and Eden and thought of you and me. You are always telling me that Eden is my walking clone, so I thought maybe this little picture could take you back in time even though it is a current one.
Back to the days of a little blond toe-head dancing around, always wanting attention, wanting to do everything herself, little miss independent, a little sass at times, determined in her words and actions, and always looking up into those big brown eyes and wanting nothing but to become just like her!!!
Then, I found one of us together--all grown up and both Mothers now and this picture taken on Mother's Day:) Where do all those years go? I look at Eden and can't really picture her in 30 years. What will she look like, what will she have accomplished, what will her life be like? But, one thing I hope she has more than anything is the same kind of relationship with me as I have with you! I hope she is my best friend and I am hers. I hope she looks to me for wisdom and advice as I do you. I hope she always knows of my love for her through my example and actions--as I do you. And I hope she feels proud inside to call me her mom--as I do you.
Thanks for all you do and have done for me in my life. I believe that a Mother is the highest calling that a woman can hold. You have been a constant star that I can look to. A leader, a teacher, an inspiration, and most importantly--a friend.
Thanks for being the glue that holds our family together. Thanks for being the force behind our family. And thanks for being the best mom a daughter could ever hope to have! I love you so much and appreciate all you do and all that you are!!!
Love, Bug

Happy Mother's Day To My Sweet Mom!

This is my sweet mom. The picture you see here was taken with my cell phone. Sometimes you just have to resort to what ever you have available when you want to capture a memory in a frame.
My mom is a character. Even at 88 years of age she has quite the complex set of attributes that bring warmth and laughter to my heart. She thinks in all these years I don't know her. Non of it's true. I know my mother.
Can you see Winston. He is staunchly sitting there in front of my mother military style for a reason. He knows my mother is going to sneak him some people food and he's just waiting patiently.
We don't allow Winston to have people food. My mother knows this. My last dog Babs had people food and died of kidney failure. My vet informed me, people food really isn't all that great for dogs. He said a great deal of it isn't all that great for people either, which is why you shouldn't feed it to your dog. So my cute little mother thinks I don't have a clue that all the while Winston is visiting she is sneaking him people food.
I wish I could write down all the means and ways my mother finagles and funnels this food to Winston. I'm telling you, she is down right creative in how she gets it done, even with me sitting right there in front of her, watching!
The other day Winston and I went for a walk over to my moms. The second we entered her house, Winston did the same thing he always does, he jumped right up on her lap scaring the tar out of her. As soon as she realized Winston had come for a visit she was ecstatic. It wasn't long after arriving she ask me to get her some cheese and crackers. I'm not sure, but I really think this was just part of her plan. I don't think my mother was hungry for cheese and crackers at all. But I did as she asked and soon after appeared in her living room with the food.
After handing her the goods, I took a seat in the leather chair. We started talking about this, that, and the other when suddenly a piece of cheese fell on the floor. Winston of course snarfed it right up in a half second, licking his chops like he'd died and gone to heaven.
"Mom", I said firmly. "Did you do that on purporse?" You cannot feed Winston people food.
"I know", she tells me emphatically, "I didn't give him any food!" She states this in complete humble innocence, like she really believes herself. "It must of just fallen on the floor." she tells me with no particular expression, like she didn't just orchestrate the whole thing.
I sat there chuckling inside myself while I watched the entire cracker and the cheese that was once rested on top of it, fall to the carpet, one little piece at a time. If you look close enough at the photo, you can see she's nibbling the cracker like a mouse. And for a good reason too, she's implementing her fiendish plot.
I said to her, "Looks like Winston is getting more of that cheese and cracker than you are." She just smiled and shrugged her shoulders like she didn't know or care.
I don't bother to argue with her anymore. I know what she's doing and I know she's getting a big kick out of doing it.
It's like when I gave up on scolding her about Goliath. Goliath nearly lost his life a few times running to my mom's to get his daily treat. My mom loved feeding Goliath hot dogs and there was no stopping her. There was a beaten path right to my mother's back door where he traversed daily for his Oscar Mayer Wiener! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep him home. He was shot with buckshot, stabbed with a ski pole, and tied up in a neighbors garage, all for a fat ladened frankfurter. Feeding Goliath hot dogs was the highlight of my mother's day!
The other night I went to my mom's to fix her TV. She'd accidentally gotten it on the wrong station and couldn't get it back to satellite mode. I didn't take Winston with me this time. She was so relieved when I finally got her teli, as she calls it, to work once more. I gave her a hug and kissed her goodbye and headed out the door.
It was dark outside when I locked things up and made my way down the sidewalk. There's a big ark light that sheds a soft glow around my mother's old red brick home. I stopped and turned around only to see my childhood incased in the light. My frame suddenly felt ten years old again, and I started to cry. As I looked at the old home, memories came flooding into my mind and heart like a river during the peak of spring when the snow is on a rapid meltdown. Everything just washed through me hard and fast. I thought of who I am and what I enjoy in my life and then I thought about how much I love my mother.
My mother gave me the blessed gift of life and with that a complete and perfect staggering amount of joy! Real joy, the kind that permeates a soul and brings the finest gratification known to the human heart! Everything I am, everything I enjoy, every breath I take, I owe to my wonderful mother.
The tears rolled down my cheeks all the way home. My heart heaved under the weight of thoughts swimming around my head, thoughts that were trying to make my heart comprehend the day that's going to come all too soon, when my mom won't be there anymore. It was a long walk home.
So this is the reason I try to remember everyday. Everyday I try to squeeze tight to the simple things I love about her like, the look in her eyes when she smiles, the canny way she walks with her cane, or the bent over form she takes when she strolls behind her red buggy. I try to memorize every last detail of that pepsi can she's always reaching for in the fridge, the straw poking out like a beacon of light, or the way she pours it into the little glass with her fragile arthritic hands. I laugh when I see her pour her Pepsi. I fully believe cherry Pepsi is keeping my mother alive. These days I enjoy caring for her and watching the simple tiny fragments of her life that bring her joy. Fragments that are below what you or I might consider a joyous moment . . .fragments, such as feeding Winston.
Happy Mother's day mom. In this life, you have been the perfect mother for me! A wonderful mother that has filled my life with all the happiness a girl could ever ask for!

Happy Birthday Kate

This is my oldest granddaughter. This is a big birthday for her. She just turned 8 and will be baptized here in a few weeks. Grandma is rather slow getting your picture here on the blog Kater, but it's not because I love you any less. Grandma is just slow today!

Kate and I got to go shopping and to lunch the other day. It's tradition! Kate is all girl clear through to the bone. She's only 8 and she knew right where an 8 year old should shop. We went to her favorite store, "Justice's" and since she had been there the day before with her other grandma, she was well familiar with every thing she wanted in the store. 

We had fun trying on sandals and flip-flops and looking at all of the cute bags, shirts, pants, and you name it. Kate picked out a passionately purple skirt that I was sorry didn't come in my size. It did come in Kate's size but they were all out, so we drove to Layton Mall.  

It didn't take Kate long to pick out everything she wanted. After that we had fun strolling through all the girly shops. 

I'm not sure which part of the outing was the best. We laughed at a crazy Seagull that decided to  strut his stuff on this nice black Honda whose owner was no where in sight. Kate and I sat in the parking lot and watched this silly bird hop from car to car.
After entering the mall and strolling through Hallmark, we had fun in Deseret book looking at all of the scriptures, and scriptures cases Kate thought she'd like since she's going to be getting her first set. We rode the escalator and that was by Kate's request. Kate danced up and down the moving stairs while I just tried to hold on and not fall down. Then Kate chose McDonald's and I chose Hot Dog On A Stick for our late lunch together. Both were easily accessible in the mall and both of us got to have our favorite dish.
Kate picked us out a fine spot to eat and I got to hear all about her day at school and how some unruly boy had pinched her during lunch causing excruciating pain that made her cry. I offered to beat him up and Kate laughed at that. She said it was ok because the other kids told the lunch lady and he got in double trouble! Then Kate and I spent a long time discussing his obvious crush on her and how he won't stop bugging her at school, which is the ultimate sign he's sweet on her!
After spending a long time in the mall we drove to Toys Our Us. I was teasing Kate telling her she only had ten seconds to pick out what she wanted once we got inside the store. I kidded her about being quite the shopper and just as we walked through the door she spotted a monkey and grabbed it just under 8 seconds.  "Wow, you're good Kate." I said. You picked that out Johnny fast! Then I saw the price tag on it and told her that was out of grandma's budget. It was a large monkey. She asked me if she could just carry it through the store and I laughed and said, "Yes" but told her she shouldn't get attached.
She got attached!
I had an idea and we walked up to the sales clerk and I asked her if by chance it was on sale. Needless to say, we went home with the monkey! But not before Kate had spotted a Smoothie/Popsicle maker. Oh she had a hard time deciding but I told her the smoothie maker was less expensive and maybe I could put a bug in someone's ear to buy it for her. That cinched her decision and home we went!

Well, we had a lovely time and I enjoyed every minute of it. Kate is the sweetest little girl and it's fun to watch her growing into such a beautiful person.  I hope you had a wonderful birthday Kater Tot and Nana can't wait to take your picture in your pretty baptism dress. I'm going to really enjoy that. Being a grandmother is the greatest!
Happy Birthday little girl! We love you!