One Day Away!

Eleanor, Glade's step mom, always told me . . .

God works in picture perfect endings.

I think He works in Picture Perfect Beginnings too!

(Thanks kids, for letting me take your pictures! It was such a treat!)

One Day Away!

Do You Think He Loves Her?

When it comes to being a parent, there are many things that stretch you in ways you least expect. For me watching my children choose a spouse is one of them. This is where I could launch into a five hundred page book report on the complete and exhausting intensity of it all. No one understands what goes on inside of me when my children prepare to choose an eternal companion. It's like painfully severing a second umbilical cord. The first one I didn't feel. The second one feels like someone is cutting off a limb. Ok, so I'm dramatic. But it's true, I feel things rather intensely on the inside.

In case you haven't figured it out by now. My kids are MY LIFE! I gave up my schooling, I gave up my freedom (in a sense,) I gave up just about every other interest I ever had in order to put being a mom UNO NUMERO! It's everything to me!!! It's my all consuming passion. I wouldn't want to be anything besides a mother!

The second factor that makes watching my kids leave the nest an all consuming painful experience is the fact that I'm a highly controlling parent. My philosophy in parenting is very simple, "I'm the CHIEF, you're the indian!" I was a little shocked when I had to learn the hard way, that once my children walk out the front door, all control follows right behind them. Can you believe that? They leave and my bossing abilities leave with them. I did not make this plan!

Now most of my kids are grown and building their own nests, they are really good to me. Every now and then they purposely let me think I'm bossing them around. It's so wonderful! However, as a mother I am not fooled, I know they are merely taking pity on me, allowing me to feel like queen for a day. My children know me all to well. I am thankful today they love me in spite of it. I am thankful they still allow me to be my bossy self now and then.

So here I am with another bird leaving the nest. And this is where I'm going to get all mushy.

Seth . . .

Let me clear away the tears that spill over as I write. If I said he was a good kid, that would be a huge understatement. He is my oldest son. The first boy to set a brotherly example. The first to lead the way in just exactly how I'd like all my boys to grow up. He's my steady river, he flows deep and calm. He has great wisdom. He is principled. He is gentle like his father. He is loving. He is kind. He is honest. He is true!

Did I tell you no human has ever heard Seth utter a swear word? No vile piece of profanity has ever come out of his mouth. EVER! When he was a little boy he said he was going to grow up to be exactly like his grandpa Crowther. Glade's dad, Lorin, was the most controlled man I ever knew. He never lost his temper and he never used cuss words. Kaedell told me the other night she over heard Corbin talking to Eden. He was expounding on something when suddenly he looked at Eden and said, "What the Hell." When Kaedell told me this story I couldn't stop laughing. After hearing Corbin and his colorful use of words, she quickly sat him down and told him, "Corbin you cannot say that word." Corbin quickly ask, "Why not mom, I hear grandma say it all the time!" I guess I'm telling this story to prove a point, and that point is, Seth has had ample opportunity to learn how to swear, after all Hell is my favorite word! I promise I tried to teach it to him, but he made a commitment and he has lived by it. That tells you everything you need to know about his character and what kind of a young man he is. I have made that commitment several times in my life. I went two years after Corbin died without uttering one single profane word. Mind you I limit my profanity to those three favorite farm words my father taught me. And I only really use the H word more than not. Once in a while an S word slips out. My point however is, who can make that commitment for a life time? My son!

Gavin hates long posts and this is growing longer. So let me sum up my ramblings.

I've been taking lots of pictures of these two kids. The other night after everyone had gone to bed, I was looking through them and picking out some I like. I ran onto the one you see above. Something about it grabbed me. Today I know what that something is. And that's what I want to record.

When I took the picture, I told Seth and Haley to just talk for a minute while I changed my lens. When I finished fiddling with my camera, I looked up and saw Seth gazing at the girl he loves. I couldn't take the picture fast enough. It was a perfect candid moment.

In all the monumental decisions my children make in their life time, choosing a spouse is the toughest one on me. After all the nights I lay awake worrying about it, this picture brings me great comfort. It tells me so many things I need to know. It puts all my fears to bed, calms all anxiety, fills me with peace and comfort. In short, it tells me the most important thing I need to know ---it's ok to let go.

My son couldn't have made a better choice. I've been telling everyone I see, when it comes to Haley, we won the lottery! And I know Seth. I should have known all along what kind of girl he would choose. Water seeks it's own level and Seth has finally found someone who meets him where it counts! In all the young ladies that have crossed his path, and there have been some wonderful girls, non have drawn from him what this one does. Haley brings out all of Seth's goodness. She brings it to the surface in rich magnitude and she lights in on fire! I think this is because all of the goodness I see in him I see equally in her! She is like him. Everything I wrote about Seth, just hit copy and paste. She is his perfect comparable, maybe more.

When I showed this picture to Deserey I ask her, "Do you think he loves her?" You should have seen Desi's face. She went off on an, "I'm so happy for Seth/I love Haley tangent! When I showed Seth the above picture, he looked at me and said, "Why do you love this picture mom. I'm not even smiling in it, you can't even see Haley's face."  I told him it didn't matter. Then I quietly said, "The picture is not a picture of your faces, it's a picture of your hearts, and as a mother that's what my heart needs to see."

Did I tell you how lucky I am. I have five kids who have chosen five of the greatest people I know. Each choice has been the perfect choice for that child. Why I didn't know to trust them in the beginning is beyond me? I ask myself over and over again, why I'm such an idiot? And today I'll tell you why. It is starkly simple. It is because I am a mother ---a mother who hates to let go.

Tonight, I am thrilled beyond measure for so many reasons. I am also relieved. I'm so glad I didn't live in the era where the parents picked  a spouse for their children. I'm here to tell you I would have done a lousy job! I would have made a mess of it! I'm so glad my children did the choosing. I think they chose perfectly! And I'm so thankful they have had patience with me while I learned this! Now I only have two more birds to leave the nest. Oh dear (big heavy sigh) I can't think about that right now! Tonight I'm just so happy and comfortably filled with peace! I have a thankful heart tonight. It is overflowing with gratitude.

And tonight I go to bed satisfied and happy that as I pray for wisdom and insight God peacefully grants it to me . . . slowly so I can absorb it better.

Congratulations Seth! You did it! You had to wait a long time for your perfect choice, but it was a choice well worth waiting for. Happy Day!!!

Happy Birthday Seth

I love the above picture. It was taken on Seth's mission in Malaysia. It didn't hit me at the time when I first saw the picture,  but now as the years have gone by when I take a look at it, something about it touches me. Seth has a special way with kids. I swear he is a kid magnet. They love him, they are drawn to him. I think it has to do with the size and honesty of his heart. Children are a good judge of character and of seeing a person's real intent and I think that's why they love being around Seth. They too can feel the greatness of his heart and they know it's a good one! He himself is a kid at heart.

Well, today I just want to take a minute and wish this big kid at heart a very Happy Birthday!

I feel lucky to be your mom Seth! You are a wonderful son!

In just a very short time, I get to go to the temple and watch my son be sealed for time and all eternity.

(I've got another post on that coming.)

The day we all attend the temple is going to be a beautiful day no matter what the weather is doing! And one thing about having a great heart, it draws in other great hearts! First there was one and now there are two!

I am thankful the Lord saw fit to bless me with wonderful children.

I am thankful for you Seth. You are a great young man and your life reflects it. You have always made your mom and dad proud! Happy Birthday! I hope you had a great day today. Thanks for always being a good influence on those around you and for being such a great member of this family! We love you! Happy Day, the day your were born!

Time To Change One Picture

Deserey was the one who brought it to my attention. "Mom, you need to change Seth's picture on the blog." It took me sometime to figure out what she was talking about, but then she took hold of my mouse, scrolled to the bottom of the computer screen and showed me Seth and Goliath's picture on the side."You need to change that mom," she said. "Yup I do." I quickly replied and I was thinking how nice it is to see Seth with a human companion.

After the brief discussion, Des contentedly went back to her book and I prepared to change Seth and Goliath's picture. Emotion sometimes has a way of sneaking right up on me. As I started to remove the picture all of a sudden my heart started beating a little faster, then I noticed the big lump that had formed in my throat and before I knew it my eyes were starting to sweat and I was getting all weepy.

Do you know how long it's been since Goliath has been gone? A couple of years now. Oh how I miss this dog. He and Seth were always together and over the years they rarely went anywhere without the other one present. As dumb as it sounds, it was like parting with him all over again.

So for Journal purposes.

I'm keeping record.

Here's the old picture that hung on the side.

Granted, Haley looks much better sitting next to Seth's side!!! She's much prettier to look at than Goliath with his drool laden smile. I know she sheds less and I am pretty positive she smells better too. She is such a darling girl and I am so tickled not only to add her to the blog but to add her to the family as well. She's the best thing to come along since sliced bread!

I don't know though. Maybe somewhere here on the blog I'm going to have to keep a picture of the greatest dog we've ever owned.  Just for a while maybe. It's a crazy thing . . .

Change!

Happy Birthday Seth!

Some things in this life just don't come any finer! Seth, you are just the greatest son ever! I'm so lucky to be your mom and to have the opportunity to wish you happy birthday today on the blog!

My heart is so full looking at this picture! When I pulled it up this morning the first thing I saw was my dad sitting there! Choked me right up! You have so many of his handsome traits. My dad was so handsome. I remember a picture of him in his cowboy hat, standing outside the house by the old tree, with his dog; I wasn't even born yet, and if I stuck that hat on your head you'd look just like him. You are a handsome young man even with your cherry cheeks that you hate and I love!

The outside of you today however is not the most impressive thing about you, it's what's on the inside that brings me great joy! God put a special heart in you Seth, and I can't count the many times in my life that heart has personally rescued me! Oh the ways in which you have helped me through so many things, you will never know! And along with that great heart He also gave you a great mind with lots of wisdom which I draw upon over and over again!

You are steady Seth, steady and dependable. You are a river that runs a little deeper than most and you are a great blessing to this family! So today I am thankful for my first born son, who is a great example to his brothers and to all of us. I know the grandkids think you are better than candy and ice cream. They love their Uncle Seppy! And I know my life personally would not be near as rich without you in it! You are a major cog in the wheel of this family son, and without you life would not turn near as well! We all love you so much! Happy Birthday!!! I hope you have a great day!