





Just in case some of you are wondering where I've been lately and how come I haven't been blogging quite as avidly as I normally do I thought you all should know you can blame it on Aunt Kris. Everyday she comes over to my house and sits faithfully by my side in the green chair and watches me edit her beautiful daughter's pictures. I pull the picture up in vivid color display on my 'Mac' (of course) and I show her my magic, and then she chooses all the little effects she likes, and a "WALAH" a finished picture is born.
I have to tell you though, she's a real slave driver with a whip and a chain! Sheeeeeeeesh. Ok, so I'm just trying to give her a hard time. She's really not a slave driver. No, she's really just a mother whose little baby girl is getting married in a week and although she doesn't know why she's been driven to work on a barrage of wedding details, sweat and stew over them forever, and exhaust herself to near melt down proportions (ask her to tell you about Chad running down the road chasing her car in the middle of the night giving her secret sign language - Awe hahahahah - I'm still laughing) she's really just trying to avoid internal knowledge. That's right!
See when you're a mother and your baby girl is getting married, somewhere down in the depths of the tenderest parts of your heart you know your baby is leaving and nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever be the same.
I'm actually sitting here balling right now. The water works are pouring out my eyes something fierce, because I can see it coming way to fast with my own baby girl, and I don't know what I'll ever do when Glade is the only person sitting across from me at our very empty table.
Don't get me wrong - I love Glade, but there is something about being a mother and having your little ones all around you. It is a precious time of life. Children fill an indescribable void (thank heaven for grandchildren.)
So many people think that mother's care for their children and they do, but it's so much deeper than that. In reality it's our children that awaken our very souls and give us the greatest meaning there is in this life. And while Kris doesn't really get up every morning and acknowledge it inside, I can tell you right here and now, that mind and heart of hers knows it's coming, and if she rushes around enough, keeps herself exhausted enough, stews, frets, and worries over it all enough, then you see it keeps her mind and heart from having to think about it all. It keeps her heart and mind from having to focus on just how painful it is to have the one thing in her life that brought so much meaning, grow up and walk out the front door forever.
It's true, if she keeps herself at maximum peak stress levels then she doesn't have to think about the pain of it all! Some of us do crazy things when our kids move out. When Kris's oldest daughter moved out she cried so hard that Chad went out and did the unthinkable - he bought Kris a dog. Yup, that's how Bear avoided the gas chamber at the animal shelter - he can thank Justi's growing up and moving out for his cushy life at the Crowther castle!
Who knows what Chad will have to come up with when McKall moves out - there is something about the first child and the last child packing up and moving out of your life that tweaks a mother's heart to the max.
A few weeks ago Chad and Kris came over to my house to see the bridal pictures I took of McKall. I was so excited to show them and catch their reaction. The oo's and awe's were steady, but I turned around and glanced at Kris because she was being so quiet (not like her at all.) Then I saw it - the tears and the emotion dripping from her heart, leaking out her eyes, trickling down her cheeks, and I knew immediately that she had stopped all of her doings just long enough for knowledge to strike.
Damn that knowledge! More like the damn broke!
Well, I just know Friday when she staggers home from the end of the most beautiful day, when all the flowers and the decorations have been packed away; right in that moment when she turns the lights out to go to bed, makes her way down the darkened hall to her room, she'll stop and pause at McKalls door. And there she will stand frozen for just a moment, looking in on a room where one little girl grew up, and in that instance, that single solitary moment when the house is deathly quiet, and all she you can hear is the ticking of the clock, McKalls room will seem ghostly empty.
Now I'm here to tell you, Chad had better have a giant elephant tucked away in the closet somewhere because, baby, the tears are gunna fall and there just might be a flood running down the city streets! It's Ok, that's how it should be. I know McKall's been away alot and Kris is use to her room being empty - but then there is just the finality of it all in that single moment, on that sublime day, when your life changes drastically, and forever. One stage of life completely gone in the blink of an eye.
Us mother's - we just have to have our little melt downs and then in a week I know Kris will rip McKall's room apart and make it her own private den and after she turns the light out and shuts the door, she'll wonder what in the world she ever cried for! It's true, first we cry a river and then we have a jubilee! Aren't mothers NUTS? Don't you just love being a mother? What a ride! Where else can you run the gamete of such widespread emotion, breath taking exhilaration, sheer exhaustion, and meaning beyond measure! Is there anything more awesome than being a mother? NOPE!
Well, I thank Kris for bequeathing me the role in this momentousness event as "The Wedding Photographer." One thing about photographing McKall in a wedding dress, she is so pretty it's the funnest thing ever and I have yet to enjoy being behind the camera more.
Happy Day! I can't wait to snap the pictures on Friday. I hope the Lord will guide my eye to capture all the emotion on this beautiful day!
Thanks Kris :) - you're the best friend and sister-out-law EVER! I'll miss you sitting beside me, in the green chair! Be strong woman!













