Check out this book, "i love you more" formerly "When bad things happen to good marriages".
By Dr's, Les and Leslie Parrott
The Parrott's say,"A good marriage is built by two people's capacity to adjust to bad things." Here are some excerpts from the book:
"Ask most people this question and you'll undoubtedly hear something about love. But ask anyone who has given serious thought, dedicated themselves to study and research of the topic, and you'll hear a different answer. Better yet, ask this question to couples who have a good marriage in spite of the bad things they've encountered and you'll hear the answer that matters most. That's what the authors above did, and it became the reason for writing their book.
Here's what they said: "A good marriage is built by two people's capacity to adjust to bad things. In survey after survey, when we asked couples to crystallize their thoughts on what makes a marriage successful, that was their answer. And when we pushed them to flush out that answer, we learned the secrets these smart couples hold.
A good marriage is made up of...
Two people who take ownership for the good as well as the bad.
They are a responsible couple.
Two people believing good wins over bad.
They are a hopeful couple.
Two people walking in each other's shoes.
They are an empathic couple.
Two people healing the hurts they don't deserve.
They are a forgiving couple.
Two people living the love they promise.
They are a committed couple.
From all that we can gather, these five qualities are the armament used to protect good couples from the destruction of bad things: ownership, hope, forgiveness, empathy, and commitment."
Also here is a great link for their wesite "Click"
And here is a detailed article for further reading. "Click"
Ralph Waldo Emmerson (ummm my fav.) said;
Passion,
though a bad regulator,
is a powerful spring.
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