It is said, "A picture is worth a thousand words." If that is so, I have said a lot this week. I however think a picture is worth far more than this meager amount. I know at least a million words have run through my head night after night. This little project has brought forth a wave of gripping thoughts and emotions.
Yesterday Seth came over and just before he left to go home, I burst into tears. "What's wrong mom?" he said. I gave one excuse after another but when he left I sat down on the couch and cried for nearly an hour. Way down deep, right in the core of my very existence, I knew where the emotion was coming from. "It's these stupid pictures," I told myself. "I started murmuring something about how I wished I'd never started this. Sitting in my cave night after night until the wee hours of the morning had only made me realize even stronger, just how precious life is, and how we take it for granted. I started thinking about how fast it goes by and how right when we are in the best of it, we don't fully know it.
With every stage of life comes the parts we don't care for, but mingled in-between the worst of it, is the very best of it. I fully believe we get so focused on the parts of life which have no meaning that we miss the parts that do . We fail to sit long and hard and absorb all the very best life has to offer, all the good, the great, all those little moments that truly bring lasting joy, we fail to recognize them. What's more, I think the very best in life is found in the mundane. Those everyday boring rituals we go through. Even in the worst storms of life, lie rich blessings. I know that for certain. We just have to be smart enough to turn our spiritual eyes towards them. Life is not temporal. We were not designed to live life as if it were. After Seth left, I sat on my couch and cried. I cried because I didn't sit with all those little moments longer and enjoy them. I should have paid closer attention while it was all right there in front of me. I cried because they are gone.
Posting all of these pictures just brought to the surface the tenderness of my life here on this earth, the spiritualness of it all. The human soul, is a thing of beauty. Seeing each one of my children grow through life in a picture frame made my heart as homesick for those years as it could ever be. I was crying and wishing I would have paused a little longer, taken more time to enjoy it. I guess it's a good thing I didn't... I would have just taken more pictures! But I do miss it. Being a mother is the only thing I ever wanted to be. I got up off the couch yesterday and looked around at my empty dirty house and realized the very best in life has traveled by me. It's not here anymore. My house feels empty. Oh, there's so much more good to come, I know, but I'm quite certain the very best parts of life come right in the middle of raising up a family! And now that era has passed. The raising part is over. So I cried. I just sat there blubbering like a balling baby. I'm sad it's gone. I really am. It was the best of life and I didn't know it, not really... not like I know it now!
Enough boobing! On with the story!
I have four kids now. I managed to get a two year break in before Gavin Reeve landed. I still remember the ultrasound. It was one of the first one's I ever got. We looked at the screen and a little hand was moving back and forth. Looking back now, knowing Gav, the way I do, it was no accident. He was waving to us. The doctor snapped a picture and that was the beginning of something very special in my life.
Gavin showed us a lot more than his hand that day. It was the first time in my life I knew what I was having before I had it. That day however, I will never forget Gavin waving to us. It was his way of saying, "Get ready mom and dad, cause I'm a commin' ...and F U N's a commin' with me!
We drove home from the doctors office that day and I got out my name books. I sat at the kitchen table and immediately I wrote down on a piece of paper, 'Gavin Reeve Crowther.' "G. R. C." just like his dad!
Gavin always wondered where the Reeve came from. I wanted him to have the same initials as his father. Man With A Drill has the initial 'R' for his middle name and he hates it. He hates having only a letter for a middle name. Imagine having to explain that every time you tell someone your name. It's annoying.
I didn't really like the name, "Robinson." for a middle name, which is what the 'R' in his father's name stands for. "Gavin Robinson Crowther?" Nope, I really liked the name Reeve. So that was it. "Let it be written, let it be done!"
"Gavin Reeve"... it had a nice ring to it.
When you are a mother of four, you soon learn to multitask! Party in the tub!
Those years in Cleveland were the absolute best. I keep saying that don't I? Man With A Drill use to come home from school every night and read to the kids. He was a fun dad. Always on the floor rolling around with four little monkeys right on top of him.
This is about the time in my life I took up slides. I have huge books of them and our life is there sandwiched between those familiar white frames. I am going to get them out. I'm going to scan them. I think I'll start having "Old Home Week" on the blog.
Man With A Drill, was Man with a Mustache for many years. He loved his mustache and he loved having fun with his kids!
After Gav was born and we came back to Utah for the summer I entered him in the 4th of July baby contest.
He won the category, "Pulling Funny Faces." Does that surprise anyone?
Gavin has a unique personality. It's full of life, energy, zest and everything thats bubbling with good! Just look at his little face. He loved it when my dad would come over and I'd put on his black cowboy hat. He'd giggle and laugh and beg to wear it. Gavin has a tickle in his soul, and it continually keeps him smiling. It's his calling card.
I should have known he was going to grow up and buy himself a black cowboy hat!
What I didn't know was how he was going to come to be known as "White Hawk." I stand corrected today. Here I thought Gavin looked it up in his name book. At my age, it's not easy to keep the facts straight! Seth informed me P.D.Q, he pinned that nickname on him. According to Gavin, they were at a Missionary farewell and a strange kid, (I'll refrain from Gavin's explanation of what to call him.) The strange young man came up to Gavin and launched himself into a huge explanation of what Gavin's name meant. His name also happened to be Gavin, which is why he felt he could explain the entire Welch origin of the name with all it's meaning. After that day, Seth plugged Gavin's name into his phone as "White Hawk." It stuck and became Gavin's official X-Box nick name on screen. Now it resides permanently with him. "White Hawk, of battle." It fits. He will beat you at X-box! History is now written correctly!
After White Hawk arrived at our home there was never a dull moment.
It was as if God said, "Let there be light! And energy! And God saw the C. Family and it was good!
Seppy was so excited. Now he had a best friend. Someone of his own kind to hang with. They loved riding grandpa's horse.
Gavin just got cuter every day!
Too bad I can't shrink him back down now he's all grown up!
I came across this picture of my mom and dad and all of our extended crew. I don't know where Seth is in the picture. I know he was there. And I'm guessing this was taken when my Grandma Berrett died.
I'm laughing at my nephew Derek, and all his curly hair. Trust me this kid doesn't have a natural curl on his head. Those curls came from a box. Kinky hair must have been in, so man all those pictures where I thought I was looking major dorky. I'm stylin! And I'm laughing at all the little girls and their rolled bangs. That was also 'in' back then! I wouldn't take a million dollars for this picture. So priceless!
The above picture has great meaning to me. If you look closely at it you will see an element in one little boy that is near and dear to my heart. See how his hand is resting on that little lamb? He didn't put it there by mistake. That day he was enthralled with that little lamb. He was so sweet with it, so I used the lens on my camera to capture my son's greatest quality. His heart! That is what was captivating to me that day. His heart is a tender one and I took a picture of it. Gavin has a giant heart that beats in that skinny frame of his. It is a heart that is always full of love for everyone and everything. He is and always will be a people person, an animal lover, a lover of life and how it beats inside anything that breaths!
He is the kind of kid that always asks about 'YOU' first. Whoever he meets, he is always more interested in them than himself. Where ever Gavin goes in the world, people love him!
I read a article the other day in a magazine that told three ways to win friends and influence people. The first was to always look people straight in the eyes when you speak to them. The second was to take an interest in their lives, avoid talking about yourself, it said, instead be interested in them. The third was to give genuine complements whenever you could. As I finished reading the article, I immediately thought of Gavin and how this comes so easy to him. I decided to call him up and tell him, compliment him on how he cares about people and how it shows. It is something he's good at. People like being around him and after reading the article I knew why. This process of socializing is Gavin's greatest personality trait. It's been part of his nature since the beginning. Gavin truly loves people!
He has what some would refer to as "Charisma!" The dictionary defines Charisma as a divinely conferred gift or power. A spiritual power or personal quality that gives an individual influence over large numbers of people. Gavin has it. I'm not sure he knows he has it, or maybe how he should wield it, but I've known from the first time I saw that little hand come across the screen. He has it!
How I'd like to go back to the years of deer hunting. It wasn't really hunting. They never once got a deer when they were deer hunting. Deer hunting was only an excuse to exercise their manhood! What they did get were a million awesome memories of catching fish with their bare hands and peeing on campfires and all that good stuff boys love! After my boys went hunting the camp trailer smelled like bacon farts, and man things for months!
After we finally came home from dental school, we started taking trips to Moab.
The boys were also introduced to Man With A Drill's bike. Gavin loved the motor bike. He and Seth would fight over who got to go for a ride with dad first. Now they all have their own. My boys love to ride together in the mountains on their bikes.
The picture below was taken in the back of my dad's red truck. I could write a book on memories with my dad and that truck! As you can see the boys loved it as much as my dad! (left to right, Tyler, Gage, Gav and Seth.)
When I got home from dental school I took up rearing dogs. Wiener dogs no less. Gavin loved Red Bouncer! He couldn't get enough of him. Then my dad had an auction over at his farm. We lived right next door, and during that auction, Red Bouncer came up missing. We suspected someone went home with an awesome dog that day. Gavin was heart broken.
Life with little boys was awesome.
And with Gavin, I could always count on quality entertainment!
One of the greatest traditions we started was our trips with the Mannings to the Bear Tooth. We haven't been there since Des was born. 18 years have gone by and we have missed that trip horribly. Lake Powell came along instead. I have so many good memories of camping with my sister and her family. Good times those were!
Now we are Lake Powell goers. My boys wouldn't trade their Lake Powell trip for all the money in the world.
We soon learned Gavin could act. Hahahahah like we didn't know it all along! The robe Gavin has on in the above picture was my favorite. I wore that thing to die my hair in. I threw it away a few months ago and I've been sorry ever since. I'm so glad Gavin has preserved it's special memory.
Gavin was the Student Body President at Wahlquist. He probably orchestrated the above picture. And I was worried about looking stupid with my hair. Hahahahahah
Gav, you look all of five years old as the President of Wahlquist! I am having a good laugh today!
I wasn't sure weather to post this picture or not. Maybe a little gruesome. Gavin got his first deer. He was so excited.
And ...No he wasn't deer hunting. Not on the official deer hunt, anyway!
With White Hawk, life was a continual endless realm of surprise. I went out to the dog house one day only to find Gavin inside with Goliath.
Now the next frame can only be truly appreciated by anyone who knew Gavin as the infamous...
RAPTOR
It all started to take place about the time the movie, "Jurassic Park" came out. I made the mistake of letting Gavin watch that movie. Not once, but several times. Gavin always had a soft spot for animals, but after he watched this movie a strange thing started to occur, my son started into a serious metamorphosis. And suddenly I found myself living with a REAL LIVE RAPTOR!
He'd go outside and ring the door bell and when I'd answer the door he'd leap and screech at me. Scare the hell out of me, that's what he would do. And he loved it. I'm not joking or exaggerating in the smallest amount. The only thing Gavin lacked in his full fledged Raptorism, was green alligator like skin and jagged teeth! In every other fashion he literally became ---THE R A P T O R. Anyone who was privileged enough to witness this phenomenon can agree.
Gavin's Raptor like ways just became more defined as he grew. Suddenly he started geting his food in Raptor mode. Man With a Drill would be sitting at the bar eating a tasty leg of chicken and suddenly Gavin would instantaneously spring into dinosaur action. He'd get this wild look in his eye, serious, he had Raptor eyes. And then with no warning at all he'd spring like a cat up onto the counter top and snatch your food, screeching all the while. Then he was gone.
Somewhere I have a video of him snatching a twinkie right out of someones hand. He leaps to the bar and then to the floor and the twinkle is gone! Pricless!!! We often beg him to go into Raptor mode now. I haven't seen it in a good long while. Bring it back Gav. Bring Back the Raptor! I miss your screeching Raptor Ways--- horribly!
Gavin has a thing for animals. I love the farmer in him! I don't know how it happened but one day Chickens arrived. Gavin rarely told me what he was up to.
Next thing I knew we were in coop building mode.
Now I not only have a thing for Cows, but I love and collect chickens too. I'm oil painting a rooster right now in my first ever art class! I can't wait to finish it now after looking at these pictures.
I miss those days with the chickens. I miss Henny Penny and all her brood.
It wasn't long and we were raising turkeys and geese, trapping skunks and raccoons that wanted to break in and eat them. I loved it all. I especially loved having fresh eggs and I loved feeling like I was on a farm again!
From chickens and birds, geese and you name it, Gavin was always coming up with one idea after another.
Most boys just ride a bike. Gavin's cousins had different ideas of what to do with a bike and Gavin thought that was awesome. My nephew Carson can do summersaults with a bike of this ramp. I think he and Bowen built it on one of our Bear Lake trips. I'm glad Gavin is still alive! With all of the stunts he's pulled in life.
The teenage years were fun years!
Here he is getting his wisdom teeth out.
My boys love to fish and hunt. Man With A Drill discovered Alaska.
Now they long to go back.
Blink 182 and I can't believe I let Gavin bleach his hair. It was the thing to do.
A couple of comedians. These two were.
Gavin is a skiier. He'd star in a Warren Miller film if he could.
He certainly is good enough to ski in one of those movies!
No dull moments at my house!
Fun is a given whenever Gavin is around!
I'm sad to say it, but Gavin is all grown up now.
Well, sort of...
He'll forever be a kid at heart.
It's what I love about him!
Positive As The Day Is Long, he is!!!
Kind with a capitol "K"
Never found without a smile. Always happy!
He has my passion for living.
In a soulful kind of way.
I pay tribute to you today Gav! To the wonderful person you are. God smiled on me the day he sent you to my house. We are the luckiest family alive to have each other. You show me that every day! When you left for your mission our life was so boring. Hahahahah I'm glad your back! Your future kids are in for a real treat. Caroline on the other hand is in serious trouble! Especially if you have boys, because you are and always will be a boy at heart. I can only imagine what is going to go on at your house! Never lose that! It is a wonderful endearing quality! I love you for it. For all the sleepless nights you kept me awake with your teenage antics ...I forgive you. It was the greatest time of life however. And I'll probably go sit on the couch and cry now for a good long while. Cause I miss these days something terrible and I always will! I guess it just goes to show...
That Raptor in you snatched my heart with the first WAVE!
Congrats WHITE HAWK! I love you!
1 comment:
I know you guys love Lake Powell, but the Beartooth trip was and is still the BEST FIND EVER!!!
we had our own lake to ourselves, not to mention our awesome huts! :)
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