Yesterday as I was driving home from town, I noticed several signs of life returning to the earth from a cold and frozen winter. Winter to me is a desolate time; it's cold, it's dark more than light, it's cold, it's colorless more than colorful, it's cold, and to me winter is uninviting more than welcoming. Even though winter does have it's beautiful moments, for the most part to me it is a long, cold, and dismal season.
This year winter seemed to me to take on the disposition of an Everyready battery; I felt like it just went on, and on, and on. I guess it seems long to me because there are so many things I miss as it lingers month after month. I miss the sun; the days are shorter, the nights are longer, and I miss the burning hot sun. I miss the penetrating light with its warmth against my skin. I miss it beaming through my windows and into my house. I'm a person who needs the sun. I need light in mass amounts. It's mood altering for me. Another thing I miss is mother earth dressed in all her fashionable colors, especially the color green. Oh don't get me wrong, she's beautiful in white, but in winter I feel like she adorns herself in the color gray far more often than she dresses pretty in white. And most of all in the winter I miss the state of feeling warm clear through. I get so tired of freezing. So I have to say, winter to me is a long drawn out lonely season.
That's why as I stopped at the red light just East of Hoagie's corner, the white blossoms on the apple trees grabbed my attention. Is it my age that makes me look in wonder and breath deeper as I take in such a beautiful sight? As I sat there basking in the moment, it felt soulfully good to see every little white petal dotting the branches and limbs. I wanted to sit down and paint the picture. To bad I don't paint, if only I could. Awe, it felt good to see life blossoming there in the grove of trees.
Driving further down the road I noticed the green on the tops of all the willow trees. The fresh lime color with it's sky blue backdrop made me want to pull out my cot, flop myself down underneath them. It made me want to do nothing but lie there on my back and gaze upward. As I pulled in my driveway I noticed the daffodils had popped from the earth. I was amazed. I know they were not there yesterday.
At night I've noticed the frogs singing down in the swollen mossy bogs below the road. They are so loud I have to stand at attention. I went out to gather the mail late the other night and the chorus was magnificent and splendorous to say the least. Did I mention I love spring? Well, I do. I love all of these signs of life waking up after a long hard winter.
I think spring is a hopeful season. Spring is renewing in it's ability to lift my sullen face. I am a person who can wear a smile while my heart is weeping. I am a person who can be around a million people and feel lonely and without a single friend to a debilitating degree. I am a person who is harder and more critical on myself than anyone else ever could be. So if you have ever thought to yourself that I'm one mean individual, then imagine what I must be saying to myself.
I was meandering on Facebook the other night when I spotted this video clip on a friends post. I pulled it up to have a look and was once again reminded Christ understands all of me.
I am so grateful for this Easter season. I know there is a symbolic reason it takes place in the spring. With everything that goes on inside my head (there are some fierce battles there), I often feel overwhelmed with what I must cross over. I love Easter with all it's reminders that I am not alone. I hold Easter with all it's resurrecting power tight in my heart. Oh, what it means to me personally, "There before the grace of God go I!"
There is a song that I sing to myself quite often. The tune is beautiful and the lyrics give way to a powerful message. "Surely it is God who saves me. Trust in Him I cannot fear, for the Lord defends and guides me and his saving grace is near. So rejoice when you draw water from salvation's living well, in the day of your deliverance thank the King of Israel."
So driving home today I was reminded once again that spring with all 's renewing process will come personally to me after my winter here on earth. Easter reminds me of the garden, The Garden of Gethsemane, where the ultimate renewal process began. Easter reminds me that because of the man who knelt there, spring will again, one day, bloom just for me.
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