Keep A Journal!

I'm in cleaning mode. It's another new year and I'm desperately trying to become a minimalist. It's not working! I keep trying, I just don't believe I'm making much headway. Today I was cleaning off a shelf in my cave. I spend more time sitting on the floor in my study looking over stuff and assessing why I kept it than if I would just throw it out. The funny part is, all of the piles of stuff, scattered around the room just seem to move from one place to another, they don't really disappear. They just show up in a different place on the floor. You see, I'm a sentimentalist.

Today I pulled a bunch of books off the shelf to dust when I noticed a little plaid book with a bunny on it. On the front the word "Journal" was clearly printed. I opened it up to see a child's writing. That drew me back to the floor again. I sat down and made myself comfortable and then I opened the first page and began to read. As I did a pattern evolved, first I would laugh, then I would cry and on and on it went as I turned each page. It took me a bit to figure out whose journal it was.

December 22, 1998
"Today we killed the twrkey Gavin grew. It was messy and grross (BIG EXCLAMATION MARK) Emy and craig slept over night. They helped us today."

The pages went on to talk about everything imaginable. There were clips that were short, like the detailed page about wrapping Gage's birthday present. Then there were pages written about both Seth and Gavin getting ready for their mission calls. Pages about them leaving and I cried when I read, the parts about how much they were loved and going to be missed. I got a kick out of a three page detailed list of what we ate on the way home from a Moab jeeping trip. All about how Goose got "Chickon" at "Kuntcky Fried Chickon," All about how it was weird chickon and no good, so he traded it for something better.

I kept reading.

June 3, 2000
"Today is Saturday. Me and kadie cleaned my room ---it was messy. I had fun cleaning it with Kadie. Dad is working on the truck. He sais its done but it looks like its not. They go sometimes in it ---wen thay do the driver has to sit on a bucket. Its funny. Me and Kadie are writing in are journal. We did it yesterday too. It was fun."

After my side splitting laughter about the bucket and how Man With A Drill finishes things around here, the tears were rolling down both cheeks. Suddenly I realized why Deserey has grown to be a supreme die hard journal keeper. It was by example ---the example of one sister. After Em moved out Des roomed with Kaedell. Kaedell has been one of the most dedicated journal writers I've ever known. What a great thing to teach your little sister, how to be a good journal keeper.

After mopping up the reflective tears of nostalgia, I got to another page that sent me off again.

March 11, 2001
"Today Kadie is cleaning her room and D Junking it. It is so messy. She dosn't want Mom to see it. She would go crazy."

Looks like my children know me.

I went on to read excerpts about Kaedell getting "Ingagt" and I cried when I read "I don't want her to go!" And I laughed when I read "I learnd ceriv." I think that meant cursive because just below the scribbled words, in parenthesis, a beautiful cursive name scrolled delicately with swirls and curly cues. It read, "Deserey Crowther."

The laughter started up again when I read the following.

January 8, 2002
"Wow, I can't believe it's 2002. It's so wird. When we do opning in school everyone still seys 2001. We have to write everything in crsiz now. I'm sad because I don't want Kadie to leav because if she leaves I'm stuk with boys but Seth will pudekt me wen he comes home in Febure the 13th at 3:30. I'm so exsited!"

There is something that grabs me down deep when it comes to my children. By the time I got to the last page of Desi's journal, I was on the floor with a pile of used up kleenexes balling like a baby. And the day had found it's meaning early for me as I read the last page.

June 22, 2002 Sunday
Today we got back from Bridger Lake. We had so much fun. I chout the most biggist fish that I've seen in Bridger Lake (Big giant exclamation Mark again.) I love Bridger! It is my favorit trip we go on! It's the BEST! Well I'm tired. Better go to bed. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Good Night!

Now in an attempt to clean out junk that has collected at my cabin too, yesterday while cleaning there I found the very picture that shows Desi holding her giant fish. Today the picture is forever framed in my mind a little differently.

There is great meaning in life. And it comes to us sometimes in the simplest ways we could ever imagine.  I hope Des doesn't mind me reading and sharing her journal entries. She was six years old when she started her book on life and ten when she finished it. What a bound beauty. I would give it the Pulitzer Prize if I could.

Last Friday Desi and I stopped in Logan on the way to Bear Lake. We ate lunch at the Blue Bird and then ventured over to wander through our favorite Hallmark store. Deserey immediately found a book. She's a book lover you know. "Please mom, please, please, please" came the familiar pleadings. I bought it for her. I've grown weak in my old age.

On the front cover it read. "My plot is thickening." There was a picture of Snoopy at the type writer. Then  below the large caption, a cartoon picture strip. The picture strip went as follows;
First box: "It was a dark and stormy night."
Second box: Linus was featured in the frame looking perplexed at Snoopy.
Third box: Now he was speaking to Snoopy, "If you're having trouble selling your work, I'd suggest a different approach."
Fourth box: Snoopy is now sitting straight up on his dog house looking at his paper.
Fifth frame: Snoopy is typing again. "It was a stormy and dark night."
The last thing on the front of the book was a little white sticker. It read, "JOURNAL, capture your thoughts and ideas. Today after sitting on the floor reading, laughing, and crying, I'm glad I bought the book. At the time I wondered if I was being frivolous. Today I think not.

After my rewarding experience this morning, a thought struck me, so I took pen in hand and made the first journal entry in Desi's new book. I wanted to surprise her and record my thoughts to her. Someday maybe when she's a mother with little taunting children she will be inspired to find it and sit on the floor and read.  And when she does, it will remind her of her infinite worth in this life and of the joy she brings to those around her. And most importantly she will know she is loved!

Keep a journal! Someday it will bring a bit of joy to the soul who sits down on the floor to read it.