Happy Birthday To A Great Lady!

The invitation said, “Bring a tribute or memory,” it is to be a planned celebration honoring 90 years of goodness. I held the invitation in my hand. It was announcing an opportunity to honor a beautiful life well lived; a life that has touched so many other lives it scarcely leaves room to count.

If Des had to respond with some numeric assessment in reference to her grandmother and the lives she’s influenced, she’d shake her head wildly, throw her hands in the air, and shout, “A bazillion”.  Seriously, I think that would be a scanty count in calculating acts of good that have blessed each and every individual that has come in contact with this great woman.

As I stood pondering over the date, with warmth and tender memories now starting to fill the floodgates, I tried to think back to the day our paths first crossed. That day when my life encountered a force for good, a force that from then on has always continued to light my way making it so much brighter.

I remember the first day I met Eleanor clearly. It was a couple of years after Hazel had passed away. Lorin had brought her over to his home for the first time. As Glade and I pulled up to the house there she was standing in the driveway under the shade of the huge pines near the catalpa tree. And from that very first moment when I met her, I liked her, I liked her a lot! It didn’t surprise me that everyone else in the family liked her too. To win the love and devotion of the entire Crowther clan ---no easy task! Hahaha  Eleanor did it in a snap!

Over the course of time getting to know Eleanor became a real treat. The qualities I came to know and trust are too many to list but I can tell you the one’s I gravitate to constantly when I am in need.

There is her ability to nurture. Eleanor can see into any human soul and immediately detect what is needed. She’s a monumentally good listener, she hears the heart and what it’s calling for and she immediately responds with a loving ability to tend and care for it’s soulful needs. She doesn’t necessarily try to fix things, instead she reminds the heart of it’s own strength and capabilities, then she feeds it with everything needed to bring it back to it’s own inherent strength.

I can be down and struggling with a myriad of things in my life. During that time I can pay Eleanor a visit in person or even on the phone and in the course of our conversation, even though I never think I’m complaining about the things I am struggling with, immediately Eleanor begins her gentle loving way of tending to my soul. Her voice, her mannerisms, her simple way of bringing me back to the good within myself is amazing. It’s like she’s fixing me and she doesn’t even know it. Those who nurture best in this life always bring us back to a remembrance of our own strength. Even now, if I am having a bad day, if I am discouraged, if I am struggling, the first person I always wish I could talk to is Eleanor.

That brings me to the next great thing I gravitate towards in this wonderful woman; Her wisdom. Wow, does she ever carry enormous amounts of wisdom. Eleanor knows so much about everything, from the simple to the complex; she just has a base of knowledge that extends to so many different realms it’s too vast to write about.

The wisdom however that I gravitate to usually isn’t about cooking, although I  love her soup, or cleaning my house, although I do try to occasionally tap into her vast resources on that as well as her use of English, grammar, writing everything including great verse.  The real wisdom however that I seem to be always seeking is her ability to deal with people. Someone should give Eleanor a complimentary Doctorate in Psychology, because no matter what personality type she is dealing with she knows the very best way to handle it!!!

I give no exaggeration to this woman’s ability to deal with the most difficult situations anyone can encounter in life when it comes to people. And every time I am so frustrated in my relationships of one kind or another, I always ask myself, “What would Eleanor do?” When I’m struggling with a person, immediately I have a burning desire to call up Eleanor and ask her how to handle the situation. Talking to Eleanor when I’m frustrated is like taking three Prozac. She immediately calms me and she opens up my mind to different ways of thinking about my frustration so that I can handle it in a more positive, un-nerving way! I love talking to Eleanor. She is like plugging myself into a direct intravenous line of optimistic enlightenment!!! And it’s that way in everything with this great lady!

I could go on all day about the things I love dearly about Eleanor. Glade and my children tout the same. Glade and I got talking the other day about stories that are near and dear to us that center around our memories with Eleanor. 

There was the sad time when Lorin passed away. Eleanor was given a flag in honor of Lorin’s service to our country.  Everyone in the family wanted that flag. Glade and I wanted it more, and Eleanor saw our hearts and knew it. I was born on the 4^th of July. My blood bleeds red, white, and blue. I’ve always been upset my parents didn’t name me Liberty. My heart is a deeply patriotic one and so is Glade’s. Glade and I have a flagpole and we always fly the flag. 

In the conflict over who should get the flag, once again Eleanor’s tremendous wisdom was tactically deployed. She quietly said, “I think I’d like to keep the flag myself.” This woman is a genius in my book! What was anyone going to say to that? And so she did, she kept and enjoyed that flag for several months and then one day out of the blue, she appeared at our home. In her hands… a flag.

That flag now rests in a glass covered case in my home. It is a tender gift Glade and I will never forget. Emily Dickenson said, “A true gift contains a portion of thyself.”  And so it does! When I look at that flag resting beneath the glass, my heart floods with emotion. I see several things. I see Glade’s dad. I see how a family sacrificed. I see Lorin’s personal sacrifices and all he gave to a country I love. I see Eleanor and her keen sense of ability to see into the human soul, to see what Glade and I’s hearts desperately wanted. Today I cannot look at that flag and not see great love in many different ways. That meant the world to Glade and it meant to world to me. It is a tender gift that will never be forgotten. This is who Eleanor is. This is her divine character. This is just a small molecule of what I love about her and I know other family members have similar stories!

The last few months I’ve been caring for my mom who is also 89 and struggling. I think about Eleanor everyday but I have not phoned her and spoke with her for a long time. I look forward to her 90th birthday celebration and what I think is a celebration of a most beautiful remarkable life. I can’t wait until I get to see her, feel her love and once again be reminded of what I’d like to grow into!

I have a long way to go to be like this great lady I so deeply admire. I’m going to have to work on eliminating a lot of selfishness in me, because to be like Eleanor is to be unselfish in every way. I’m going to have to work on doing a lot less complaining too because Eleanor could be on deaths doorstep and you’d never hear a word about it. She is always more interested in the person she’s talking to, in their life, and how she can be helpful to them. This woman is amazing in her ability to suffer alone with anything she struggles with, she’s an example of courage and how to think more of others instead of concentrating on one's self. In all things she sets the ultimate example. She really does!

Like everything else in my life, I’ve left writing this tribute about her to the last minute. My tribute to this great lady doesn’t even begin to do her justice. Today however, I want her to know how much I love her, how dear she is to me, how much Glade loves her, how much my children love her. She has mothered all of us in every sense of the word and with no less importance than her own children! 

She is the finest example of anyone I know. When I sit in church or in some public event, or in a casual setting that asks me to draw upon a remembrance of some great individual I’d like to meet, or some tremendous person I know, if I’m ever asked who I’d like to pattern my life after, I always think of Eleanor! In my worship of the Savior and his great loving sacrifice for me, again, I see her there. She has followed the Savior's pattern in a remarkable way! She has made herself like Him and I see that in her in such a magnificent way that I hope I can follow in that direction with such exactness as she has.

Happy Birthday Eleanor! Thank you for loving me the way you have. Thank you for overlooking the worst in me and for always bringing out the best. Glade loves you and he sends his gratitude with every ounce of depth as I. My children thank you and also send their love and gratitude. Some day I hope to be something like you. It’s not completely possible but when I think of the greats in this life who have lived the way I should like to --- I will always think of you and of all your goodness, and especially of your tender loving example. You’re amazing! And I say that with deep sincerity!

In closing, when I think of the movie “It’s A Beautiful Life (and I could go on an on about watching, sharing, and all the good memories I have with you and a good movie) I will always think of you Eleanor. You’re life is beautiful to all of us. You are such a blessing to this family and most importantly you have always given us a beautiful pattern to follow. I’ve always said, “You, dear lady, are a treasure!”

Glade asked me the other night, "How in the world do you think Dad got so lucky to find Eleanor?" I looked at my delightful husband shaking my head and boldly stated, "I can't believe you asked that. You're mother picked her out silly, and sent her straight to us!" And I know she did and we've been blessed ever since!

Happy 90th Birthday Eleanor!

WE LOVE YOU!

Glade, Faye and all