Happy Birthday Des!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DESI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Last night I wandered into Deserey's room just before she fell asleep. I looked at the clock and told her she only had one final hour to be sweet sixteen. I was trying not to cry at the thought of how fast she is growing up and to avoid the tears I decided to seek verification as to whether or not she'd been kissed yet. I'll leave out all those sorted little details and move right back to emphasizing how much I hate the thought of Desi growing up.

I've always known the simple fact that I'm not anywhere close to the realm of "Normal." Normal people adjust relatively fast to their kids growing up, gaining independence and moving away from home. Not me! I love my children living with me. I love them right here at home under my roof where I can enjoy their company, their energy, and their zest for life.

Today my mind has been reminiscing on the past and thinking about just how fast the future becomes the past.

Desi, I still remember the spiritual promptings that came to me after Corbin's death. There I stood in my bedroom, holding that little white blessing dress I bought for him thinking he was going to be a girl. I can still remember that day so vividly! First there had been a baby, and then a funeral, and with tears in my eyes I pulled the beautiful ruffled dress from the closet knowing I had to return it. I will never forget the overwhelming emptiness that hung so heavy in my heart that day standing there all alone, arms empty, with no baby to bless. That's when I heard it, the voice in the middle of my grief. I will never forget that exact moment it spoke to my mind, so quiet, yet so powerful, "Don't take that back, it whispered. "You have a daughter yet to come that will wear that dress."

Now here I am, you are 17 years old and I'm standing in your bedroom looking at your homecoming dress hanging here all pink and pearl beaded for a little girl destined to be a Crowther! The only problem is you are not little anymore are you? Oh how God sends us tender mercies. You are living proof of His great love and watchful care over me. What a princess you'll be when you put on all those pearls and pink ruffles. Just like the day dad stood in church and held you in his arms. There you were, the cutest baby girl all wrapped up wearing her brother's beautiful white blessing dress. Your dad gave you your name, a name that was spiritually made known to us. It's meaning, Deserey: desired, longed for, a daughter fulfilled.

Now . . . I have no doubt that Saturday night Corbin will be standing right there with me in spirit when you come down the stairs looking oh so pretty, with those cream pearled butterflies stitched on your dress, your brown curls bouncing, and some cute boy nervously waiting at the bottom. Don't worry, I'll hold your brothers back! I've hid the shot gun shells! Hahahaha

Sometimes our greatest blessings follow our greatest trials. So it is with you Desi! You were born into a mighty circle of love, and you my dear are the final link that connects us all! I love you oh so much! We all love you, oh so much! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!