Deserey is always buying music for her iPod. For Christmas Santa left an itunes gift card in her stocking. Santa knows what Desi loves! You can always get Des an itunes gift card for any occasion because she loves them and never has enough of them, see music is like air to a teenage girl, maybe an old lady too.
Last night she and I drove home from Bear Lake. It was late, we were the only travelers on the road, us and a lonely moose. In the quiet black of the night we were content to sit comfortably and listen to the music, headlamps lighting our way, leading us home.
When we drive together, there are rules. I control the wheel and Des controls the tunes. She usually sings along. I love that. I love her sitting beside me. I love her company. I love her life energies pulsating next to me, filling the car with epiphanies--- you know, those sudden, intuitive perceptions of insight into the reality or essential meaning of my life. Some would describe them as a simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence. To me they are life sustaining. Her life makes my life better.
Some of the best times in my life have been driving to and from Bear Lake in the quiet of the night with my kids! I have heart warming memories of each child in the seat next to me. I dread the day I have to drive alone.
Last night Des played a new song for me. She has good taste in music. Maybe it's just my yearnings for spring, or her love resting there next to me, but something in the song really moved me. Music always moves me.
There are few insects that fascinate me like the butterfly. It's the whole metamorphose thing... it's fascinating. I want to metamorphose... live my life with drastic change.
Last night though I thought of all the stages of metamorphosis my children go through and how that causes my life to magically transpose, and I just want to say for the record... I hate it when they fly away! It's like a piece of my heart gets ripped away never to reattach.
Beautiful song Des! Soon you will be a beautiful butterfly. I can see the transformation taking place now, I know your wings are forming, pieces of your mother's cocoon flaking away revealing glimpses of the powerful metamorphose to be. It won't be long now, the clock is ticking, and soon you will finally rise and spread wide your colorful wingspan. Like all the others, the future will call you up and that's the day you'll take flight. A mother can't ask her little caterpillar to stay cocooned forever, but all mothers can hope. So when you fly Desi, don't fly to far for too long!
I love you. You are beautiful. I love all of you. All my beautiful butterflies!
3 comments:
Tears are streaming down my cheeks mom! I remember several instances where I was the one in that seat next to you. Now look at me--two kids later. I think about my little ones growing and never being little again--I guess that is why the Lord blesses your life with grandkids! Aren't you glad I didn't fly too far?--I'm practically your backdoor neighbor!
Des, I'm coming to get your butterfly song and all your other itunes music you've purchased:)
Oh, I"m sooooooo glad you didn't fly to far away Kadie. Just remember that when you buy a house! And I am going to fill my car up with grandkids when Desi's seat is vacant! Sure hope you're going to let your kids slough school to go to Bear Lake. (I was such a good mother!) Hahahaha Those were the best times ever!
I sure have some cute little caterpillars coming down the grandkid branch! All from my beautiful butterflies!
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