Every year when I was young I would beg my mother for a birthday party. Every year she would tell me, "Everyone celebrates your birthday." After that she would launch into a discussion about how I am the single most lucky child in the entire United States, because every state and every city throws me a birthday party. For the first few years of my life I believed her. Every year I went down to the small park here in my city, I truly felt like everyone was celebrating my day. After all, everyone at the park came up and made a fuss, wishing me Happy Birthday. And it was the celebration of all celebrations in my town. Always a day to be remembered.
When I was about nine or ten, my mother finally succumbed to my ranting and allowed me to have a full fledged, honest to goodness ---birthday party. I was so excited and I still remember it well. My mom held the party outside on the front lawn and all my friends came.
Due to the suggestion of my mom, she encouraged me to invite two little Indian girls that belonged to a family whose father worked on my farm, Ned and Ruby Bassinta. Today, I can't imagine what wages Ned Bassinta made working for my father. My dad was a farmer. Just that statement alone tells you as a child my family was poor. The lucky part is, growing up, I never knew it!
Ned and Ruby had the two girls and a little boy. I wish I could remember their names. I didn't play with them much, even though they lived just up the road in an old barracks that another farmer provided in trade for work. If I was poor, I can't imagine what this little family would be considered by the world's standards. These children had next to nothing. What's worse, Ned use to take his pay check and get drunk every Friday, leaving the family with even less for the week.
My mother was always good to Ruby. She would take her meat and milk from the farm and she always gathered up second hand clothing and gave it to her family. Anything someone was getting rid of, my mom would confiscate and then haul it up to Ruby.
There is one thing about that birthday party I have never forgotten. It is the sweetest memory that has stayed with me forever and I have drawn back on it many times for wisdom.
Having a birthday party meant presents! As a child, I had gone to so many parties and wondered what it would feel like to open a mountain of presents. That day I got my wish! The funny part is there is only one gift I remember. I couldn't tell you one single monetary thing I received that day. I do however remember one gift that touched me deeply and those feelings have never left me.
At the end of all the gift giving, Ruby's two little girls walked up to me and handed me my present. I still remember the shock inside my heart when the youngest daughter pulled from behind her back a paper cup filled with water. In the water rested a little blue mound of for-get-me-nots.
At first my response was a greedy one. I remembered thinking, "WHAT?" and "That's it, that's all!" And then I looked at the children standing before me. Suddenly everything about them became blatantly visible. I suddenly saw them for the first time, their clothes, their hair, and the look of embarrassment on their faces. My mother jumped to the rescue, and drew every one's attention to the flowers in the cup. Suddenly all of the value of one small insignificant gift sprung forth to me in an amazing way. My mom launched into her garden expertise and told all of the kids how hard it is to grow a for-get-me-not. She made those flowers sound like some exotic plant from Africa. By the end of her lecture, every kid felt slighted that they had never gotten a paper cup full of flowers for their birthdays! Mom mom was a genius! After making a big tado over such a small gift, she took us in the house and we put the flowers in the window sill.
After watching my mother arrange each little flower like a delicate ornament, all the kids ran out to play. My mom held me back. I still remember her stern voice. She gave me one simple sentence. "Those kids have nothing, you go out and thank them for their beautiful gift. That's a gift you will never forget!" My mother was wise and my mother was right. I did thank the girls several times over and I have never once forgotten that sweet offering. Today when anyone mentions the remembrance of gifts or presents, that experience is always the first to come to my heart and mind.
Desi asked me a question last night. She asked me if I had listened to President Uchtdorf's talk on For-Get-Me-Nots. As soon as she said the word "For-get-me-not." I remembered my affiliation with a tiny insignificant flower that I have long loved. This morning thinking about my mom and missing her deeply, I pulled the talk up to listen.
It is worth a post, worth remembering, worth a for-get-me-not!
If you can't watch it, you can read it! Click on this Link: For Get Me Not by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
Five Petals of a little For-Get-Me-Not:
First: Forget not to be patient with yourself.
Second: Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.
Third: Forget not to be HAPPY NOW!
Fourth: Forget not the "Why" of the gospel.
Fifth: Forget not that the Lord loves you!
It has been a beautiful fall. One I will always remember.
Today is Halloween and some of my grandchildren were saying they miss Great Grandma. I think it was Spencer that told me. "Nanna, Great Grandma let me get in the Halloween pumpkin bucket all I wanted." That's when Spencer went on to rave about how Great Grandma always said, "Take more, take more. You've got to take more candy than that!"
Today I miss my mother. I miss everything about her. She was a woman who valued the tinest flower and the simplest things in life! Today, I know that I am indeed going going to miss her every single day that I live. She is in me though. I feel her in a way I never have before. In my doing, in my ways of being, in my thinking, even in the night, she is there, and always, I feel her love pounding in my heart with every beat.
And I will not forget! I love you Mom!
Happy Halloween!
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