Take Me Back

Today I had a funny thought. I wondered if my life is half over.  It struck me and I spent sometime pondering it.

Am I half way? Am I more than half way? 

I am 55. Do I have 50 years left? Do I have 40 years left? What does the future hold for me? Will my health last, will it hold out and stay with me? Is some aged disease waiting for me around the corner? How much future do I have left?

Yesterday I got a phone call. A good friend of mine who just happens to be exactly my age, died suddenly. He was healthy one day and gone the next. A blood clot went to his lungs and within 24 hours he was gone. Tomorrow I'm attending his funeral.

Maybe that's what sparked my sudden interest in just how much longer I'm going to live. I happen to love living and I want to do a lot more of it.

Life is short and quick in passing and one thing I'm constantly reminded of is how precious the "Present" is and how important it is to get up each and every morning and really, "L I V E!"

Today I cleaned off my desktop. I had a million pictures on it, pictures I had scanned for the little graduation tributes I made to my kids. I still have one kid left to post. And trust me, it's coming, but besides sorting pictures, I think I've really been sorting emotions.

When I found this picture, I summed it in photoshop and gave it some tweaks. When I had it all blown up big as life on my 27 inch computer screen, I nearly started balling. Ok, who am I kidding, I did start balling. And my heart started quivering, turning to mush and imediately I wanted to turn around and be there, I wanted so bad to just look up and find myself standing there, in the middle of my mom's walk, bare foot and pregnant, playin with my little kids.

Maybe I'm strange, but I fully believe those years when my children were small, all those growing years when they were sleeping under my roof, when they were fully under my feat and driving me nuts, yes, for sure, no doubt, those were the best years ever!

Note to self: Enjoy today! Enjoy the little things ---while you can!